As fun as it is watching a sentient sebaceous cyst and an amoral skin lesion take turns throwing one another underneath busloads of racist yokels, it’s more fun to spend a bomb cyclone with a giant sheepdog.

They’re the same folks who line up to get lied to by him.

As you can see, Trump is so in favor of coal, that he’s increasing the supply of oil and natural gas.

All I’m saying is that if you like getting a steak at Peter Luger’s, maybe you shouldn’t try Tad’s Steaks. Some things are fungible, others are not. When it comes to single-malt Scotch whiskies, I find it’s best to find a label you like and stick with it. Or, at the very least, find out what type of Scotch you like…

Like Glenmorangie 12 year Port Wood Finish?

“An ally of Attorney General Jeff Sessions who is familiar with the thinking at the Justice Department’s Washington headquarters...”

Fuck you. Fuck you right to hell.

Crossfire was one of CNN’s marquee titles, having had been on the air for 12 years at the time. That episode drew 33% more viewers than usual and, two months later, the show was cancelled and Carlson was fired from CNN.

So you ate LifeSavers while watching lightsabers.

Refresher: Tucker Carlson is actually LESS douchey than he used to be.

The Trump Administration didn’t just “go off the rails.” The MAGA train derailed pulling out of the station, caught fire, and has been a flaming train wreck for the past year.

I’m jealous of your dog’s amazing smile.

Marzipan is Henri’s little sister in spite of weighing more than fifty pounds more than him.

My daily routine involves listening to the prior night’s MSNBC lineup. Once your lunatic president sent his “my dick is bigger” tweet,that pretty much devoured the news cycle.

When the Harvey Weinstein shit was really coming to a full head, Harmon went off navel-gazing on his show for an hour and a half, saying that, yeah, he had probably harassed female subordinates. He came to the conclusion that he’s a giant asshole and promised to not be such an asshole.

More like the skin lesion calling the sebaceous cyst “orange.”

I don’t ask for much from “Avengers: Infinity War.”

If anyone wants to buy some raw, unprocessed water from my wells, I’ll sell it to you for the low, low price of $19.95 a gallon.

Not to be a grammar Nazi but you used the wrong tense.

That was pretty much the whole problem with Judea. The Jews didn’t want to be Romans and the Romans were very insistent that Jews submit to Roman rule.