He has his own Wikipedia page and everything, which is truly my metric for success (not all the cool shit he’s done, just the page).

When it comes to facial hair, many men are extremely sensitive about it. They cultivate their whole look around it and the hair is often a symbol of their masculinity. It’s a good thing I grow facial hair like a 12 year old and have to stay clean shaven.

The assholes who cover themselves head to toe with turquoise and think they’re being artistic. I worked at a hotel in ABQ for years and my number 1 complaint was people thinking it would be like Denver or Phoenix. Also, fuck Phoenix.

These guys discovered that true success comes with being an insufferable nihilist who’s great at making fart jokes.

That’s my thinking for Civ. Even on single player, the thing is massive and you can play it in a number of different ways.

1. Civilization 5

In comparing the AA to the DVD (or Spicolli Driver if you’re Tommy Dreamer), the DVD has more of a follow through and the wrestler usually keeps hold a little bit longer. The AA is more of a flip off the shoulders.

If I can carry my phone, wallet, keys, and smokes without looking like I’m carrying tennis balls in my pocket, I’ll wear cargo shorts anywhere.

Still one of the many Buffy episodes I’ll just throw on when I need a laugh.

My Boxer was a licker galore and I would do the same thing, but give her a push on the backside with my hand. It breaks their concentration on what their doing and resets their brain, and the monosyllabic sound acts as an auditory cue for the same thing. When I was training her to walk without a muzzle, it was a…

I hope Better Call Saul wins everything. Odenkirk nails every line reading and facial expression and everything else he comes across.

Of course not. And for gods sake, don’t crowd source parenting advice from this website.

Sander’s campaign was a shit show that relied too heavily on on-the-ground support and word of mouth and didn’t even try to court other democrats or liberals. I say this as somebody who voted for the guy, but he did not have his ducks in a row.

Lindsay Lohan and I are the exact same age, down to the year. I feel like my life is a little bit more in order than hers. And we both celebrated our 21st in Vegas! She was at the Palms, I was at the Gold Coast. It was kismet.

I honestly think back to my History 102 class, where the syllabus had GRAPHIC CONTENT in certain videos we would be watching, and the ability to complete an alternate assignment. It seems so simple, yet somehow it’s turned into this weird generational issue about hurt feelings.

I honestly thought I couldn’t be more impressed with her until she busted out flawless French during a press conference at the French Open.

People who say shit like that probably had teachers that said “I don’t know, CAN you go to the bathroom?”

He went my alma mater (University of New Mexico), and the team used to stay at the hotel I worked at during events and what not. It was a tie between him and Alex Kirk for being the absolute most assholish guest I’ve ever had.

A security guard at the hotel I used to work at once showed me a nude pic from his girlfriend during a smoke break. I was absolutely horrified that a person would just show a coworker a photo that somebody sent to them in confidence. Now, even if my girlfriend offers to send me one, I get super nervous that somebody…