My 25 year old girlfriend named her cat Kitty and her hedgehog Hedgie. I renamed the hedgehog to Hedginald Vel Johnson and she was not a fan, but the hedgehog seems to like it.

I recruit volunteers as part of my job and I got one whose name is Taylor Dayne and I kept trying run that bit by my coworkers but none of them were having it.

Tig Notaro looks, acts, and talks exactly like my best friends therapist (or is it the other way around?). I will always be on Team Tig if for no other reason than the fact I get to laugh at a 7 minute documenting her intense and brief relationship with Taylor Dayne.

I once got headbutted in the nards while playing freshmen football. I did not handle it nearly as well as this kid handles it.

This reads like a Mallory Ortberg “Ayn Rand Review Children Books,” and I am game for babies who do adult things.

As someone currently swimming through the brine pool of Vermont higher education, this is 100% correct. It could never have competed in a small city market with two other colleges and a major university. It was doomed to fail.

But I do bet they feel just magnificent about themselves right now.

Speaking specifically for WWE shows (and my view on them): I was at Wrestlemania 31 and took maybe 15 pictures, mostly of the ladder match and the entrances. For events like that that are broadcast and can be watched later, it seems silly to me to record shitty, shakey video with a bunch of background crowd noise when…

Best “sports” announcer of all time: Throat Cancer Vince McMahon. I can listen to him rip vocal chords while running down the Wrestlemania 5 card all day.

That is Kane, the Devils Favorite Demon! Another point I forgot to mention about long hair: it allows the wrestler to more easily call their spots during the match with a bunch of hair hanging down. Wrestling is an oddly complicated event.

Besides the answer already given, it also cuts down on frizz during the match and looks cool when they whip their head back after a hit.

Your fondest memories as a child were watching your family try to make sure somebody can’t do his job? They sound like people who heckle comedians too.

I thought it was more a “Bushes Baked Beans” type of thing.

I mean, that would probably be the best course of action.

Have you seen the documentary Overnight? It looks at the rise and fall of Troy Duffy and really shows what a complete butthole he was everybody all the time. I have an irrational hatred of the Boondock Saints movies.

Fuck Boondock Saints. That movie isn’t even a hot garbage, it’s dumb garbage that actively hates its audience.

From what I’ve read on the always true internet that is the case.

These are probably the same dudes and bros that think Shawshank and The Dark Knight are the two greatest movies ever made.

Freckles instead of tans and a higher tolerance to hot things. As a member of the Lobster Club myself, I gotta say, having red hair is probably the greatest.