It really is Cam Newton’s fault.

Zachary D. Manprin: Cardinal Fan or Schiano Man?

I’m not sure what you mean. Presumably the two necessary parties here would be (1) the prosecutor and (2) Constand (and her lawyer).

Obvious comment is obvious.

We obviously did not include alt weeklies or web comics, but nothing touches the holy trinity of Life in Hell, Achewood, and Perry Bible Fellowship.

There’s an entire country in Europe where millions of white folk speak flawless Spanish almost from birth.

Batali’s peen = ‘the third croc’

What are you talking about? This tweet is terrifying.

This is some straight up Pierre Menard shit. Thanks, 2016. Thanks for everything.

TL;DP

Hockey players are bitches

“If that baseball was instead a man, he’d be charged with attempted murder.”

So familiar with this guy from my days scouting all-ivy academic sprinters

He’s already set to be catering the awards

The black guy in the Naked Gun movies. No idea what hes been up to since then...

Who?

Ley thinks about bears. Book it.

“The only nominee? Sounds like a conspiracy.”

Ah, come on. He’s not that bad. Cut the guy some slacks.