Nice, this should bode well for a NovoLog® FlexPen® endorsement in a few years. Way to invest in your future!

I firmly believe Mt Dew is a bipartisan beverage, as Mt Dew essentially serves as coffee for high school and college men.

This is going to be an absolute shit show for rookies who end up on this team. New found wealth and Vegas is probably not a great combination.

When a nuke hits my city I just hope I’m out getting lunch so I go quickly.

I spent a year purging my facebook friends based on this exact theory.

nice

“I went to stock market today. I did a business”

Reading this, I’m so glad my dad doesn’t give a shit about anything I do.

I also work in tech and plan to do this next year. Excellent idea.

but I don’t think anyone goes for music anymore, they go because they have a new app that is going to disrupt BIG _______

I’ve long been convinced that SXSW now only exists so people can tweet about being at SXSW.

This is true! Football Saturdays on the north side feature recent alum from all of these schools vomiting outside the Wiener Circle.

Look, if I can still pitch a tent at that age, I’ll be shouting it from the rooftops.

Wine is supposed to be drank out of a bag that’s ripped from a box, then passed around in a circle and shared.. “That’s Franzia, The Socialist’s Wine.”

I can only imagine that they are on their way home from hooters. With that said, if they got pulled over, could they BOTH get DUI’s, or just Rex?

I once got drunk at the Applebees in Times Square, I can’t decide if this was a high point or low point of my life. For context I live in another major city and hadn’t patronized a chain restaurant in many years prior to this.

That older kid’s swagger is on point. It’s like she KNEW this was her chance to because famous.

it’s funny when men get hit in the testicles.

He probably fancies himself an expert on public housing since he himself technically lives in public housing

+1 resurrection