I think I saw one of these babies drinking a piña colada at Trader Vic’s. His hair was perfect.

Women sneaking into exclusively dude events has a long history.

Joule thief!

Don’t mention the [culture] war!

If it was a legitimate shooting, the body has ways of shutting that whole thing down

52 kids under him? I thought he was a Steeler, not a Cardinal. 

“Nine trafficked minors, nine trafficked adults, 26 traffickers”

Which is more beautiful: that room or the piece of chocolate cake he ate with Xi?

AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, I THOUGHT TURKEYS COULD FLY.

NdaMoekong Suh, right, Larry?

more like ottofellating.

based on the amount of redshift in his image, Gruden and the Raiders are receding from us at 99.9976% the speed of light

It’s certainly a step up from the Work Sets You Free sign they have on entering the training complex.

I hope tomorrow brings one more Lion loss — Lion Ted Cruz!

Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.
The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked.

Prominent Black Conspiracy Theorists: Roseanne Barr

“Dang, he couldn’t even get a seat on the back of the bus?”--Rosa Parks

Or dads

“Open the Pirate Bay files, please, HAL.”

“I’m sorry, Dave.  I’m afraid I can’t do that.”