All together now!

Doug Mirabelli's Day
9:00 Shakes off the cobwebs and gets out of bed.
9:01 Lets out a blistering fart and takes 90 second piss on his hands, farts 5 more times.
9:03 Drinks three raw eggs Rocky Balboa style and opens the fridge.
9:05 Takes out leftovers from the Kowloon Pupu Platter for three he picked up last night.
9:15…

To make matters worse, Chris Broussard was seen in the lobby screaming at the manager to change the name of the hotel.

Frazier's record against Clay now stands at 1-3.

214 sounds right on. 213 lets him off too easy and 215 just seems like MLB abusing its power.

18, dominant, and into water sports? FUCK YES

"Should Riley Cooper fight every nigger here? Yes or no?"

Later, at the Eagles practice facility: "I will apologize to every nigger here."

This would be the second-biggest Young-Balls transaction this year, behind only the Penn State settlement.

Yeah um... I couldn't give a flying damn because it's a dirty filthy Macross.

You are aware that the Brits use the word "brilliant" in a sense different from us Yanks, right?

"ruff [ruff...uff...ff...]

Tawny Kitaen likes the cut of her jib.

Anna arrived and immediately whipped out an "expandable metal baton," threatening to hit him.

I don't know if there are enough towels in the world to clean up after this sloppy BJ of an article...

YOU'RE THE MAN NOW DOG!!!

"Easiest money I ever made," said the guard. "He was always in the center of the room, since he refused to get anywhere near the walls, and every time he tried to get past me, he'd end up missing the door completely."

5.5" isn't a huge hog.

Whoa, easy there, guys. This is all a huge misunderstanding. "Fucking" isn't even the profane F-bomb Daugherty is upset about.

Now all they'll need to do is trade for Toronto's SF and they'll have a lineup of Ricky-Martin-Gay-Love. And if that's not enough, they can pound you inside with their Pek.