Used car adverts that mention nothing about condition or service history but have a few paragraphs of generic copypasta straight from the Edmunds “vehicle description” page extolling virtues such as “power windows” and “antilock brakes.” Really? A 997.2 has antilock brakes? No shit! I guess this differentiates your…

Already on the hunt for your next project, eh David?

Right, for an exact match there aren’t any. There are duratracs that are made in 255/55/19 that’ll fit the 19" wheels. They’re 1" wider than the stock size, but it’s what the LR factory ‘support’ vehicles were running during some of the magazine tests/press days circa 2016.

If you would classify the BFG KM2 as a mud tire, then yes, they go from 15" through 22" wheel sizes. I actually prefer the duratracs for the side lugs and the siping on the tread blocks. But the KM2 is pretty rugged.

FWIW they make KM2's up to 22" wheel diameter.

All of them.

David, I’ve found where the next $800-1000 of your money should go:

David. David. DAVID. Stop. Please. Why must you always buy rusty crapcans when the south is literally overflowing with rust free crapcans that will end up costing far less than you’re going to spend getting that garbage moving under its own power. If it’s a matter of distance, I’ll help haul it.

Outstanding! Admittedly, my sample size for my observations on tan interiors have been junkyard cars from the midwest and south, and a few sub-$2k craigslist beaters. But I’ve seriously never seen a decent set of tan leather seats in one of these so kudos for keeping yours intact.

Plenty of similarly sized SUVs have coils at all 4 corners and tow more than a JK.

We were all told stories like those you mention prior to our visit, and made sure we were where we should have been (we all had passes on our dash that indicated we were allowed more than the standard 45 minute maximum in the visitor’s lot & it was coordinated w/security).

My 15 year old German car (‘02 Audi) never ground any gears at any speed in any weather unless I did something stupid. I lived from Maine to California with the thing and right up until the original clutch failed catastrophically at 135,000 miles, the transmission never made any weird noises.

The dark grey/charcoal leather of my 300,000 mile S70 has held up decently and presents OK despite the nearly two decades of abused heaped upon it by myself and my family.

They lost my business forever when I parked my ancient, beater Volvo in their visitor parking lot for this tour and I came back to a bunch of “buy American” and orange “your car will be towed” stickers on the windshield. But yeah this tour & my subsequent convos with this dude were also contributing factors.

So this inspections thing got me to thinking about when my SAE Club toured the Chrysler transmission plant in Kokomo in the 90's. The guide [a friend of mine] ran through their QC process and said (paraphrased) that as the transmissions are assembled, each station has a QC, and if your station sends something back or…

And in episode 2, Mr. Ballaban will be introduced to someone who knows how to apply hair gel without making him look like a pedophile.

Sure, but the ‘17 JK is bigger, heavier, more powerful, safer, more efficient, and stuffed full of more electronic driver aids than any ‘90's XJ or TJ... and yet it barely tows more than a Volvo S60. It just seems like something of this size/power should tow more.

I mean, my XJ towed 5000lbs pretty easily back in the day... but it’s wheelbase was ~6" longer than a 2dr JK... but the JK weighs about 1,000lbs more.

I love how the newscasters are all like “oh geez, this is usually when they have TERRIBLE ACCIDENTS and, you know, I really hope that doesn’t happen... but lets zoom right in anyway because I REALLY HOPE there isn’t a CATASTROPHIC crash here...”

Is there a way I can donate on behalf of Jalopnik without having to pay a 10% fee of my donation to eventbrite?