This is why I, as a hetero woman, can’t look at hetero porn anymore. I keep seeing things mid act that make me squint at the screen and roll it back six times like... did she really consent to that?

You haven’t lived until your daughter and her boyfriend come into the living room and announce “the condom broke, and we need to get some Plan B right away”.

Bill Maher is trash.

Just a reminder that if you’re someone who enjoys going to live shows, if and when you do need to sell your tickets - please just try to do it at cost. If we all do that then that one time we really want to go to a show and didn’t manage to get tix when they went on sale, then maaayybe that karma will repay itself.

I can confirm an adjacent story of a girl I went to college with. She was 18-19, worshiped John K., met him at an event with her boyfriend, where instead of an autograph, he promptly invited her to an after party. She didn’t end up going but eventually got back in contact with him. After that they started meeting up…

Yeah, no. They are not my team mate.

They are imperfect people doing a good thing. A. Good. Thing.

That America in addition to being racist as fuck is colorist as fuck, which we already knew. I never can understand why (dumb) people think that white people and institutions don’t engage in colorism.

Could you stop writing to me?

Pet deposit. We have a winner.

$25 for a single movie ticket.

While I don’t completely disagree with this advice, I went through the exact same situation in college. We had a house, dude paid his rent, but his girlfriend was at his place 4 out of 5 days. She did use more amenities than J’s boyfriend, and I think she may have even had a key, and the others in the house wanted her…

Bruh I love the Nolanite tears they taste like fresh mountain water on a beautiful sunny day

He is the actual, absolute fucking worst. And every time he talks it chills me to the marrow of my bones.

I personally can’t abide the stuff, but most of the other women in my family are scotch drinkers. But they aren’t buying Johnny Walker with or without a woman on the label.

Cigars are much too large for your fragile petite hands may I offer you...

I love scotch, but I think you’re right. It’s not really a cocktail liquor. Not that they aren’t cocktails that include scotch, but they aren’t really popular. Personally, I love the contradictory nature of good scotch, really simple, but also really complex. It’s my drink of choice, but I do like my whisky neat, so...

See, women are allowed to use men’s products, wear their shirts, and everything. But if a man uses a lady’s product... his penis immediately explodes.

Is there some sort of hot pink cigar I can smoke with this ladyscotch? Preferably one that won’t make my hands/face/hair smell like ass for three days, but really it’s the hot pink that is important to me as a female consumer.

this will go down smoothly with my lady doritos.