“I ordered some scientific equipment from a company a couple years back and they included some candy in the shipment. Was I supposed to take offense? ... Nope,”

I always wondered what happened to Catherine Mary Stewart.

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

I always wonder what sort of person takes a refrigerated or frozen food, and drops it off on a random shelf somewhere else in the store.

“Free Alfa Romeo when you open a new checking account!

This doesn’t have much to do with the OP’s post about “moon shots”, but I found this to be amusing ...

“Don’t feel bad. I always thought the Pledge of Allegiance was about me; Richard Stands”

Just like a real car company!

At this very moment, a high-ranking a-hole has just informed the developer of the hoverboard that his entire project has been cancelled for ridiculously petty reasons. With no other recourse, the developer will enable a highly dangerous and experimental mode for the hoverboard, and for reasons not well explained will…

Aw, man!

I can think of no end game to this that is not a winner for the human race.

Did you guys do a Crawl tie-in that got out of hand? Will there be a free showing at Humboldt Park?

A gamer ... who bathes?

Can I get some Space Food Sticks when the Moon Landing anniversary rolls around in a couple of weeks?

“Maybe they should just make a Final Destination airline while they’re at it.”

Is there a weird trick involved?

Due to circumstances beyond our control, the annual “escaped dangerous animal” drill will have to performed again. However, we feel justified in cancelling this years’s upcoming “disgruntled employee runs amok” drill.

“Look, Jabba, even I get pulled over by the Florida Highway Patrol sometimes”

But getting spat on is how you know the place is fancy!