“Our audit goes to 11"

Florida (Highway Patrol)Man.

On the plus side, I sense a new merit badge coming.

Any word from Cat Stevens about this development?

If you think all people are operating with logic and the best of intentions, then you shouldn’t mock them.

Have the cops pulled the teenagers’ masks off to reveal their true identities yet?

Dr. Strange: “People used to laugh at my jokes.”

It’s important for people to realize that all the really stupid rules out there ... they’re there for a reason. It wasn’t “slow day at the legislature so let’s make up some nonsense rules”. It’s “we can’t believe somebody actually did this so now we have to make a rule about it”.

No, no, no, you didn’t invent diabetes!

I don’t care for peaches myself so I’ll take a peach pass.

The only reason it took so long to apprehend him is because the local cops were thinking “naw, no way, too easy, he might as well have a neon sign saying ‘I did it!’, I mean nothing is ever THIS obvious!”

Is that really his name, or just an anagram of his name?

“If you can’t beat’em, throw money at ‘em!”

“Thoughts and prayers”?

The safe word is “subpoena”.

Hello, greetings, and good morning! Welcome to another edition What Were They Thinking? !

The pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle, the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true.

Correction: That’s buoy, not boy. We regret the confusion.

This is one Santa who’s going out the front door.

He’s been laying low since he’s being watched 24/7 by the SFPD Film Critic Squad.