“You mean to tell me this guy gets off on not payin’ tolls?”

The important thing to remember is that if you weren’t trying to insult someone, not only is it not your fault, but you are the victim!

And how does he tie his shoelaces? With little Nazis.

“maybe this is how he launders money”

Hey Canada, I’m not good for it, either. Can you “loan” me some loonies, too?

AV Club is doing cross-overs with The Takeout now.

I was watching 4 lions at a zoo one time; two male and two female. One of the females was rather agitated, and was sitting on one edge of the enclosure with the other female just sitting with her. One of the males was slowly walking along the perimeter of the enclosure with the other male just sort of ambling along…

(sheepishly hides rope behind back)

A salisbury is the less savory cousin to the dingleberry.

In totally unrelated news, Smithfield donates 50,000 pounds of food to local public school district!

I’m still not comfortable being told I am not a human being, I am a “resource”.

If it doesn’t have pesticides then why the heck should I drink it?!

He clearly said “to blave”.

To me, she is the greatest straight(wo)man ever.

A Quinn Martin Production

I used to be an achievement whore. Joined a 12 step program, but it turns out we all joined just to collect the 12 steps.

You mean these Incels get off on ... ok, they never get off.

Excuse me but that’s ... lost in the Bermuda Triangle (♫ cue spooky music ♫)

But wasn’t WW I caused by strict adherence to railroad timetables?

Perfectly said.