I was going to say they aren’t for kids because of the reasons you mentioned, but frankly, you’re explanation is far better than mine!

I don’t blame you.

Attention “cool dads”, time to step up your game.

The Obama administration took those shark fins to court. These days, we’d just go to war with those shark fins.

“What Star Wars tech would make my daily life better?”

“if you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Neccothelioma ...”

The feudal system lasted for quite a long time. I’m thinking it wasn’t a fluke.

I cam here for an argument!

♫ Top of the line in utility sports,

Why does everybody need a reason to do something these days?!

Just because some people can’t fit inside the machine, we all have to be penalized?!

Bat-dick move, DC.

The real Bat-dick was knowledge?

The less fortunate get all the breaks!

This is only a surprise to those who didn’t read the subtext between the cop and the cab driver in It’s a Wonderful Life.

Void where prohibited.

Steve Jobs wore the same turtleneck every day and nobody congratulated him!

If the Secret Service hasn’t picked out a code name for him yet, well, I think we have a winner.

If everyone in America were as fiscally and socially responsible as the “Anything Anyone Gets Is What They Deserve” crowd claims they should be, our entire economy would collapse.

“You mean lead actor from The Stupids Tom Arnold...”