My Aunt Barb never appreciated hearing lines from that movie.

In the Heat of the Night of the Living Dead?

With a side order of SNL's "Jane, you ignorant slut, …"

These are faceless men who don't know where they are, but do care.

and you're in Australia.

It was the best of phones. It was the blurst of phones.

Eventually, the "legal definition" of a selfie will end up before the Supreme Court thanks to that monkey selfie.

types in "wetbutt", darn it, taken …
types in "wetbutt1", also taken…
types in "wetbutt2", oh, man! …
types in "wetbutt3" …
.
.
.

Does the box contain potassium benzoate?

[…] might be right for you. Ask your doctor. Again and again. He'll give in eventually.

"Incompetent, irrelevant, and immaterial!"

"Stand your backyard above ground pool"

When we lose contact with LV-426, I'm pretty sure Pai is who the company will send along with the Colonial Marines.

"Carl's Jr. F*** you; I'm eating" is just waiting for the FCC to admit defeat and not even bother anymore

Remember the Ionic Breeze Air Purifier? Their commercial said that AC Nielsen says they were rated America's most trusted air purifier manufacturer. Which, when you think about it, doesn't mean "our air purifiers are the most effective". It means "our advertising is the most effective".

Barratry!

The perfect time for me to pitch my "it's like Die Hard, but in Michael Jackson's ranch" screenplay!

I wonder if anthropologists read articles like this and then think "maybe that bizarre object I just dug up didn't have any real cultural or practical significance in that vanished society? Maybe it's some ancient a-hole's idea of a joke?"

You're stuck with Le Tique. That's just the way it goes.

"Villains, I say to you now, knock off all that evil!"