In Hawaii, they make a point of telling tourists that turtles are protected and there is a large fine. In fact, they like to point out that it is cheaper to punch a native Hawaiian than to punch a turtle.

This just seems like one of those arguments that has no winners but plenty of losers, and when it's over, everyone wishes they'd never started.

There's an election next year, and it's never too early to start practicing to lose it!

I just hope today isn't a day when Katie Rife's grandma says "my granddaughter is a journalist. Here, let's look up one of her articles!".

If you reply to a troll, the troll wins. I really think the only way to win that game is not to play (with the troll).

"Got into a fist fight with the ref over the coin toss."

(That's odd. Why am I suddenly being admitted into all these country clubs …?)

Is he also wearing an IKEA wig?

(I don't get this post …)

"Illinois Nazis" in "The Blues Brothers must be as odd a concept to young people as the Moonies in Airplane!. How many remember Skokie?

I like how the #1 comment on Facebook about this show is complaining about the awful way they portray people in the Ozarks. Hey, you want to watch The Waltons then go watch The Waltons. I don't think "heart-warming affirmation of country folk" is what this show is aiming for.

What next; the Duck Dynasty dudes weren't born with beards?!

and we'd tie an onion string to our belts.

We're in syndication. They're re-running Andrew Jackson episodes now, I think.

It's that CNN guy, right?

Preach it, brother!

Defense dollars don't come from taxes. They grow on special trees, which is why we have to keep out those foreign farm workers, who wuz stealin' too many of them defense dollars they picked.

XXXL, XXXXXL, or XXXXXXL ?

Frankly, I learned far more from the Film Academy's groundskeeper than I did from the instructors.

Cause little Willy, Willy won't go home
But you can't push Willy 'round
Willy won't go, try tellin' everybody but, oh no
Little Willy, Willy won't go home…