I met someone who said her family is here because her grandfather jumped ship from the Kaiser's Navy!

"The less fortunate get all the breaks!"
Philip J. Fry

Disneyland . They're at Disneyland .
There. You see, Lord Vader, she can be reasonable. Continue with the operation; you may fire when ready.

I did enjoy an NPC in Fallout commenting on eating "200 year old Salisbury steak".
I don't even like fresh Salisbury steak.

I think Joey's the greatest, but my dad says he doesn't work hard enough on defense.

Not neutrality?

He invented warp drive because being in jail gave him time to think it through?

Now we'll never get warp drive.

I just hope it can be summoned by shining the Orbach signal on a cloud.

The important thing is we're lowering somebody's taxes! Let's not get wrapped up in the details.

Tell your grandmother not to be so blue over it.

The AV Club

Water? Silicone.

Conservapedia?

"considah dis an excommunication"

"I'm not hearing a 'nyet' …"

Colbert running as a Republican is brilliant. He'll get the liberal Colbert fan vote AND the can't-recognize-sarcasm vote!

Middle Indiana Tonsorial college?

I'd just like to point out that earlier Trump implied there were tapes, and now he says there are no tapes … but none of this means that there are no tapes.

Y'know, literally as I was typing it I started thinking "it's probably going to be a tie between Cosby and Trump".