I just can't for the life of me consider eating something that slid out of my bruised snatch when gummy vitamins are a thing.

Andy Warhol found a comb, or one of his interns did.

I don't see how she possibly can be. From past experience in a tattoo parlor, anything that comes in contact with blood is not sterile with just cleaning solutions an time.Boiling is also not considered good enough. Only an autoclave can really, truly get rid of all those blood-born pathogens smeared all over your…

Actually, you should steam lobsters. It's not a nice death, but it makes all the difference. Mmmmmm.

This was my reaction. I get the heebie jeebies thinking of any of the boys from One Direction as fuckable, and they're adults. Accidentally stumbling onto a playbuzz quiz made for teenagers makes me want to scrub the ick off me. For the fucking life of me I cannot imagine seeing a thirteen year old child, mistaking…

I think that was the most appropriate response to have, and I would likely do the same.

This is seriously going to change my spending habits when it comes to makeup.

This is seriously going to change my spending habits when it comes to makeup.

People came up to the main table to talk to me and I just kept shoveling food in my mouth while they were talking. Not even a little bit sorry.

Can you hold off all the other stuff a little longer so you can finish your meal before you visit tables? Seriously, you have to eat. Maybe have a late-night delivery plan ready for afterwards?

First rule to using The Knot's checklist:

So now is a bad time to tell you that creatives share not-so-secret blacklists all the time?

Oh, it was the same one? That was one of the more gruesome deaths. Also has the boy with a hair fetish, if I remember.

I believe it's The Goose Girl where a blabbermouth talking horse is killed and it's head is mounted on the outer wall of the castle? I reread that one as an adult and was pretty thrilled at how incredibly disturbing it would be to watch a maiden talk to a rotting horse head, and then see the thing talk back to her.

I got a five-day stomach flu when I was a kid and my grandma refused to give me anything but diet 7-up. Because Ginger ale, faux lemon-lime syrup, whatever.

I thought you said "bye" like you were going to stop engaging.

I blame the "everything cures my erectile dysfunction" people.

There are no words. Barf.

Didn't have that, but my aunt tried repeatedly to take my dj upstairs. In front of her family.

Real talk: