I had my hand in ruining my mom's wedding day by making her sick as a dog. They ordered beef wellington and she couldn't keep down anything but a few sips of milk.

We had the same childhood. I still don't care for pork chops, they were pretty much ruined for me. Pork loin nearly died with them.

This is such a kitchy American Stereotype response that it needs a Gif

I would totally meet you there, but I doubt this is aimed at me, as I am a makeup whore.

I need that GIF where Moriarty says "Thank you, bless you" and then shoots himself in the face.

I use Urband Decay's Primer potion. A sample of it came with my Naked 2 palette and it seriously changed my oily, hooded eyelids forever. My eye makeup could last for days now.

Dear internet vigilante's:

I did the same thing. I gave something up for lent because I thought "That must be hard. I'll do it with you! Solidarity!"

Mom wanted traditional white, I wanted red. I wound up with these gold babies (broken in with thick socks to make room for extra insoles) and red toes. I still wear them.

Wait, holy shit, what is happening? Did we just find an actual bipartisan issue?

I miss Hyvee the most of everything not up here in the land of ice and snow. But we're getting two either the end of this year or the beginning of next. Score.

Death threats. Always with the death and rape threats.

This is why I used them. Internet woo-woo on hair care told me that alcohols and sulfates in hair products would fade my pink locks faster, so I tried doing without. I also only washed my hair every other day and did it as lukewarm as I could stand it, so the jury is out on whether it was the water temp / time / lack…

Our health center was a joke. If you were a woman who needed anything but birth control, don't bother.

Right?

I wish I could be shocked but I'm not in the least. When I was being harassed last fall by someone I knew the name, address, and work number of, the police officer I spoke to told me to just tell them not to call back and to "Call non-emergency if someone comes to your door".

She sucked her lips in and licked them. That is international women-code that they're preparing for a fight. I know that second right before I really lay into someone, I lick my lips. If you see a woman do that and there is no food around, she's about to snap.

Sorry fellas, only vetted sugar daddies will do. Go through the online service or GTFO.

Yes, it was bitchy.

Aw, you were a cute goth! At least you had a good lip color for your skin tone, and your false application looks good.