High school, I was going to cosplay at a convention (yes) and was trying to figure out how I was going to achieve the correct shade of olive green my character had. Boy in my class overheard and snickered. No WAY a girl like me would EVER color her precious hair green.

Conclusion - this judge's bathroom at home is really fucking disgusting. And he probably doesn't flush public toilets.

Right?

And who really wants to use cardboard applicators?

The legs. His balls are big enough to be a third leg because the man is so thin. And yes, models are thin, thin bodies are fine and normal, but I would be lying if I didn't say that for half a second I thought "How is that man upright?"

I really hope you're joking. My apartment complex had seven apartments flood ankle-deep with RAW SEWAGE because a piped burst from being clogged with tampons. You NEVER flush tampons.

That and when he said "For not believing those women, you get all the weak tea" and started tossing it in heaping handfuls. OMG, this show is going to be incredible. I'm already hooked.

Well how does one successfully act "not-sexy-not-interesting fuck doll with constant doe eyes and no real emotions , opinions, personality, or self-esteem"? If she's a boring waste of film, that would be her NAILING this character. If she's interesting in any way people will demonize her for not being true to the…

Pretty plain brunettes have their place, but when I see the word "Vogue" to to me says "fashion so brazen it's confusing". I think Vogue is EXACTLY where a Nicole Kidman in drag makeup is meant to be. This is... very boring. Doesn't help that they picked a photo in which all the light in her eyes is dead and her face…

Yes. When she texted him that only family were allowed to visit and he replied that he was there RIGHT NOW?

I'm so glad someone else pointed out the irony of this woman immediately clinging to narcissism as the reason her children won't speak to her. I absolutely agree that there are strong currents of a narcissistic personality at play here.

I dare that shit-eating mother fucker to tell the rest of their congregation that they said that. I fucking dare them.

Spanx took all my thigh and hip fat and moved it into a pregnancy belly. I had "lumpy" thighs and a flatter stomach, and then with spanx I had smooth sausage thighs and was suddenly pregnant.

Wow, how could anyone resist going greek?

I really want to become a dog / cat lawyer. I want to stand in front of a judge and say that I KNOW that this cat wants to sue their owner.

My high school had her workout videos. They stopped using them in my class because she put everyone in giggle fits. When she does sit ups and such, she makes a noise that sounds very much like she's having an orgasm.

Mr Hag and I actually got a landlord to change her stance on declawed cats. They wanted cats to be declawed to live in their building, and I said I absolutely would not do any such thing, the best I could do were those plastic corner protectors and nail caps. She had no idea either existed and amended her rules to…

Bingo. Just say something like "I'd be honored to stand with you on your wedding day, but I think it's only fair to warn you that I couldn't be a part of any of the pre-wedding activities. I have too much going on in my life to devote myself fully to that".

Throw in some racial slurs for added effect.

One of the first things Knot commenters will tell you is that The Knot is part of the wedding industry and would tell you to use your grandmother as a rug if they could make money off the idea. Knot commenters rarely ever agree with The Knot.