Your sister, you buy her a drink for me.

Pffft! I wouldn't spend $500 on my own bachelorette, or my sister's, or my best friend. That's insanity.

One of the first things Knot commenters will tell you is that The Knot is part of the wedding industry and would tell you to use your grandmother as a rug if they could make money off the idea. Knot commenters rarely ever agree with The Knot.

One of the first things Knot commenters will tell you is that The Knot is part of the wedding industry and would tell you to use your grandmother as a rug if they could make money off the idea. Knot commenters rarely ever agree with The Knot.

I want to be reincarnated into a fat house cat. That kitten pressed his little kitty asshole right into the cops cheek and got away with it. Only adorable cats can do that.

I'm laughing so hard it's shaking the sofa and my cats are giving me death stares.

Right? I want to get elected in Texas so I can make some bill that says I get endless hookers and blow and the laws don't apply to me. Because. Totally legit.

So this

I took it more like "a little under 14% of the dudes in that class need to be closely watched." Which was still enough for me to want to hork.

What the fuck are you doing that they break almost half the time????

May I live to be old and sweet so that sexy younger men offer me their arms.

I feel like barfing watching the recount of that story. If it actually happened to one of my loved ones I would be upset that I was going to prison, because I WOULD be going to prison.

I had a medical illustrator (three, actually) for a teacher, and while his illustrations included things like foot ulcers, prolapsed vaginas, and eyeball infections, he maintains that having to observe the model with Hairy Tongue was the worst experience of his entire life.

Huge. You best just give me the fifth seat too, lest you be caught in it's gravitational pull and sucked in.

As one happy wife to another, the fuck is wrong with you?

Waiting for the follow-up article where the frat members / someone who likes their parties tells us all how unfair this decision is.

My husband was asked about me, which I guess is as close to turning the tables as I was going to get. Not that I wanted him to endure the bullshit I do, but I had so many mixed emotions about the ease of which he was sterilized. All he had to do was ask ONCE and it was done a month later. Just like that. "Are you…

1. My first doctor wanted written consent AND a paper on why I thought I should be sterilized.

OMG I'm so making that for an ugly sweater party. With tampon fringe.