Technically great, but I think it would make more sense for Real Jake to be based on someone like Barney Frank rather than a cage fighter. This is like something Jake might turn into for half a second to make Finn laugh. I can't imagine Jake's voice with this body at all.

Haha! Well you did too ;)

She looks like 80s Toyah Wilcox

Ehhhh, it's pretty good. I would have burned the blood off.

I haven't played it, but if I remember rightly Saints Row 3 had a Tron parody featuring a mockery of multiplayer shooters, with programmed lag.

Why? I've never seen Kotaku spike a big budget game for its "big-budgetness" when it wasn't deserved, and they've often praised games for high production values.

A little of both, I'd say. They've already created a problem for themselves by developing Watch Dogs and aiming to release it in the same quarter as AC.

I think it's quite easy to guess why Ubisoft wouldn't want a key designer of Assassin's Creed to have his historical epic back. Look at how people compared Dishonored with AC3, and think how much more harsh the critics would have been on AC3 if Dishonored had been set in a real historical setting!

Yeah I'm not keen on underwater sections. I'd be happiest if it was a nightmarish experience which forced you to use stealth against the clock, blocking line of sight between you and the sharks with the scenery, to get to whatever's down there. Actual melée feels wrong especially if, as you suggest, it's a QTE.

But the Homestead missions featured the most hammy parts of the entire game, and they were poor quality filler. The makers didn't care about those sections as much as the game's defenders do. They didn't even make sure that the villager's usual models were removed from the scene. I went off to find the runaway bride…

Can your cat stand up as quickly as that kitten does at the end? I've seen cats having seizures, and it's always been very different than this.

No, I think the kitten is excited and attempting to wrestle the bowl. I've seen cats having seizures and it's nothing like this.

They've been telling you since Brotherhood that they intend to carry this on and on. Thankfully the story you're talking about is over - I wouldn't call it the main story by any stretch - and it's possible that we're getting into a new phase with only occasional games making a big deal about the modern day (if at all).

Indeed. I like the opportunity to wander around in a simulation of each historical period, but they play around so much with people, places and details that I would pity anyone who believes they understand the Crusades, Renaissance Italy or the American Revolution based on the games.

It makes sense to me. He's trying to play both sides: satisfy a liberal audience, but then switch tacks in such a way as to leave the liberals shrugging and make the racist audience think he was joking in the first part. He's a trickster businessman, having his cake and eating it. A vile coward.

My favourite comedian

Nooooo. "They" are idiots. Freckles are beautiful.

She's not playing the patriarchy, she's in tune with it. She's involving herself completely in the production and consumption of porn, while at the same time saying that porn is a terrible thing and women who have sex for money are worth less than women who don't.

If only that was true. Millions of people who tower over me in every intellectual aspect fail to grasp this ostensibly simple issue. I still have hope that we'll get past this bullshit eventually, but I'd be lying if I said I was 100% sure about it.

People completely overplay how much this happened, and they parrot that line because Roman was the one who they used to introduce you to the social activities so he's the one you remember most (and also people like to impersonate his OTT accent).