Keith Law just got suspended another three days.

Clearly, Curt no longer possesses the ability to be tongue-in-cheek.

because he's wrong?

So he had brain cancer, right?

So let me get this straight. These people don't believe in evolution because it doesn't work like it does on the Pokemon cartoon?

I did once see a workhorse evolved into a jackass.

Actually, I'm pretty sure nobody's missed more shots than Jay Cutler's kids.

This is the dumbest idea I have ever read in my goddamn life.

I mean, surely it's not lost on most observers that part of the reason LeBron left the Heat is that he'd had his fill of aging, oft-injured shooting guards whose giant salaries limit the team's ability to add quality complementary players. But, sure! Trade Kyrie Irving for Kobe Bryant!

Yeah, no. As a guy who has lived in Southern California and had to listen to annoying Lakers fans for the last decade, this will never get old. Ever.

Cincinnati chili sucks.

Fortunately, Cutler is immune to criticism. Unlike his kids, who aren't immune to a goddamn thing.

Hate it when my team's quarterback allows a division rival to score 55 points.

If you record vertically, you deserve Jay Cutler as your QB1.

People who believe in creationism should just be lined up and shot for being too stupid to live, and too dangerous to have walking around in society.

Devin McCourty just won a night with Gisele.

Not even Predator would want that spine after Welker's done with it.

Seriously. I expect in his off time he goes around asking people if they've seen Edward Furlong.

How is this dude not dead yet?