Yeah, but Zlatan has scored a ridiculous amount of goals in Ligue 1 (generally thought to be a weaker league than Serie A, La Liga, and the EPL), so it stands to assume that someone of Falcao's supposed quality would also obliterate in Ligue 1, not score at the rate you would expect from say...Gervinho.

Falcao is also roughly 100 years old, though carbon dating is inconclusive, as carbon did not exist when he was born.

Well, when you don't have a job, you've got all the time in the world to stand up for something else.

shut up shut up shut up

So sad, they couldn't even get any professional soccer players.

And somewhere, in a rundown bar, in a town no one would care to remember, with a steak and a shot of whiskey in front of him, a single tear runs down the face of Greg Schiano.

Floyd is also against killing trees; When asked to clarify, he stumbled through his written remarks before defensively jabbing a book for 10 rounds. He was awarded a split decision.

Remember when people got all fuzzy over Hall being the second coming of Kurt Warner; An undrafted Christian QB, suddenly starting for an NFL team.

If Wenger really wanted a 37 year old striker, he'd either bring Henry back or play Jol Campbell.

Gay snakes are the most untrustworthy. I paid a gay snake $20 to watch my dog and when I got home, he had taken him for a walk.

As much happened in this drive, as in the film Drive.

A friend of mine is from Glasgow and is a huge Celtic fan. When we signed McGeady, he was going on and on about how he's equal parts frustration and brilliant. He says he and all his pals used to complain, but since he left, they all realized just how important he was. I'm all in; I want all of his tricks and feints.…

The only Spurs player who would start for Everton is Vertonghen, and that's only if Dystin takes pity.

Do you really think Pochettino is the answer? Do you really think Levy isn't going to fire him halfway through the season?

Don't mind me, I've had a crush on Gourcuff since Ribery made fun of him for reading books at the 2010 world cup.

My tears have been flowing. Probably either Osman or Naismith to open behind Lukaku. I wouldn't mind seeing Kev in the hole and McGeady in the starting lineup either.

WAH WAH. Your team is garbage.

"They lost striker Loïc Rémy, who rejoined QPR on loan, but have a pair of fun French playermakers in Yoann Gourcuff" - Gourcuff is still at Lyon as of Friday, August 15, unless I'm totally fucking wrong.

I wouldn't call it a bomb. It's worldwide gross was $363 million.

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