My daughter had a crazy 10 minute crying fit in our hallway yesterday because we didn't have any cookies. Real tears running down her face, weeping into the floor. She just kept wailing "I want cookie please" over and over. I finally held her by the shoulders and said, "I am REALLY sorry, but there are no cookies…

Team cat headquarters here,

There are reasons why white gun's rights activists can walk into a Chipotle restaurant with assault rifles and be seen as gauche nuisances while unarmed black men are killed for reaching for their wallets or cell phones, or carrying children's toys. Guns aren't for black people, either.

Everybody on Facebook has been saying variations of "I don't usually feel sad when celebrities die, but..." and then list why RW was important to them.

6. If your [sic] only going to show up for food and alcohol and really have no interest other than that

Those look like some pretty hard runs.

sorry, gotta go with this woman:

I'd say "put the first woman president there," but in terms of women holding top executive authority the US lags behind touchy-feely liberal hotbeds of feminist thought like Pakistan, India, Bangaldesh, Indonesia, Turkey, and Kyrgyzstan.

Yes, some kids from Stockholm are a bit special. I guess the best way to describe it would be like they take "Gossip Girl" as a serious lifestyle reference. You always find hoards of them in Ibiza, St. Tropez, Marbella and the like. Which is odd considering the relatively small population of the city and the…

Yeah, I was about to be like, okay, time to give up forever. And then I realized that it just wasn't German. Such relief.

I picture that the Bieber's bodyguards sound just like Grizz and Dotcom and their diaries are full of existentialist musings "Today I prevented Legolas from punching the Boy King - 4 years of abstract musical theory study at Juilliard and this is my lot. My spirit was with the elf - though my reaction was not."

Long live the

She is basically Little Kelly Faircloth. When I was a child I'd worry about things, my mom would eventually lose patience and respond, "Well, what if the world stops turning tomorrow?" And I'd freak out about the possibility of what if the world DID actually stop turning tomorrow.

I had to get an X-ray on Monday and the nurse made me pee in a cup. He came back and was like "good news you're not pregnant!" I was like dude I haven't gotten laid in a year I could've told You that. He said and I quote "aww."

y'know, sometimes people just don't want sex. And that's allowed too.

here's my sex spreadsheet

Seems to me like these people need to spend less time making spreadsheets and more time spreading on the sheets, amirite?

You'll have to buy men's clothing. Women's clothing is legally forbidden from being practical.

Zenni!