He’s got a vageyebrow.

Goodyear: “Your Honor, despite the fact that all the livestock have in fact left the barn, we would like to request that the barn door now be secured.”

Even Dana Loesch wouldn’t defend that shooting.

What I was is for them to not be ugly. The blue ones are okay, but the white ones fail that test.

The dodger did win.

Thot taek.

My wife is a slut.

Your take is bad and you should feel bad.

Tom Brady: somehow the one white guy on the Pats who *can’t* catch a pass

Cruelty to animals isn’t funny, Barry.

I thought a dutch loaf is when you try to execute a dutch oven but accidentally shit the bed.

No offense, but I hope the Jaguars Defense, Fournette, and Blake Bortles (lol) beat the Pats so bad that you cry and pee.

“Sadie Mae! Sadie Mae! That dang ol ref done throwed out one our boys from the Quicklane O’Brady’s Weedwhacker Dot.com Bowl! That is a insult to our sovereign dignity! Run go Google me Rand Paul’s phone numbah! And that bastard-ass ref’s too! Put down my nephew-son now and do it!”

Nothing like getting served, pestered by Sherrifs & taken to court over a Will that myself and my sisters are not only 100% excluded from but do not even have any interest in contesting in the first place.

How can the Chiefs be the Browns of the playoffs when Marvin Lewis and the Cincinnati Bengals exist?

“It’s a tarp!”

I’m guessing it’s “four,” much like his brother VII:

No wonder he let Magic drive to the hoop so easily in the early 90s.

Defensive Scouting Report: B. Preston

It’s not unprecedented. There’s one pizza that is pro-Central Powers: