...I like kale...please don't hurt me.

"I love you and I lost a tooth last night" is a line that would only work for a small child or a meth addict...strange how much overlap there is between those two groups.

Probably because this is what a 13 year old imagines a "grown up party" looks like.

ummm...."shaking hands with the pink lady"?

It's ok Isha, someday you will find a tooth brush of your very own...someday.

You shouldn't use words if you don't know what they mean, it makes you sound stupid.

I don't really see how that's a paradox, since the second half of the statement is not the opposite of the first half.

You are envisioning the real world.

I have no idea what you mean by out of your league in this instance.

This is why it's SO important to make sure your homosexual activists are up to date on their shots.

I once completely lost romantic interest in a guy because when he had to poop he always felt the need to announce it. I think he thought it was funny or something. Mid conversation he'd loudly announce "I have to poop" and then leave to go to the bathroom. As far as I'm concerned, when someone enters the bathroom,…

...well...that's not sexy.

That's because nut jobs have a tendency to find each other.

This guys girlfriend must be SUPER flattered that the guy who stabbed him wanted so badly to pay her a compliment. I'm totes jelly, no one has ever stabbed my boyfriend because they thought I was pretty. =(

Every time you find yourself wondering why a hot girl would date a jerk or a creep or...idk...a serial killer remember that birds of a feather flock together. Hot people can be screwy in the head to. Also, I'm not saying physical attractiveness isn't an important factor in relationships, but if her being good looking…

No, no, no.

Doesn't everyone start out in the grays?

From the video I'd guess he's some sort of performance artist.

...how does he eat? Don't those extra nostrils cause sinus problems? If he's a platypus, shouldn't the upper and lower lip be the same size?

That's pretty much what I said, she's probably getting a little old for Victoria's Secret.