Jesus fuck, it reads... like, was he jerking off to this under the bench?  For fuck’s sake, fire this waste of oxygen. 

Or is it the silver lining? Because he’s a giant piece of shit even without dementia, and sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is repeatedly yelling “He is such a fucking stupid piece of shit.” He can’t be told enough that he’s a dumb fucking piece of shit who drops his ass every time it’s handed to…

This also speaks to something I really, REALLY fucking hate. I’ve been in so many situations where a child’s parents instruct them to hug or kiss me good-bye, even though it’s obvious they don’t want to - whether it’s because they’re shy, or have sensory issues, or don’t remember who the hell I am because I haven’t…

I hope the dinosaurs come alive and eat everyone in Hillsborough who sued. Ya don’t fuck with old ladies who love dinosaurs, which (finally realized it at 33) is what I want to be when I grow up.  My house might be more Jurassic Park themed, but respect.

Fake news. There’s no way that dumb-ass stimulates anyone in any way.

Dr. Paul is the reason I’m skeptical of OB/GYNs who don’t have a vagina. It’s already stressful enough for me to get a pap smear, and I have to CORRECT you on my own anatomy? Fuck that.

And, relevantly, I had my last one at PP with two excellent nurses (and staff) who made me laugh and shut down my panic attack when…

I can never decide what kind of bagel I want, and I just find out that I can have a little of ALL of them? Brilliant.  I am here for this.

I was totally “Beige? Are you fucking kidding me?” until I read this, and it’s an excellent point. Now I’m “Beige, but don’t buy it from GOOP!”

Part of me thinks she is really just an epic troll. She started her silly little brand, the world went “srsly, tho?”, and she ran with it. Does anyone really buy her shit?

BRB,…

Let’s touch base offline.  Are you free Monday between lunch and the mandatory vag steam?

This is good, because now I know which book to NOT buy when I’m bored at an airport and wandering around Hudson News.

Way late to the game, but there isn’t a new thread I can post in - I have to add Q/Eliot to that list now. I teared up at “Peaches and plums, motherfucker.” The whole cast is fantastic, and Hale Appleman gets me every time. The show is completely bonkers, and I love every second of it.

I even love Penny 23, I just hope…

ER bill? Jeeze.

I’ve known cats that like their bellies rubbed, but mine DOES NOT. She does, however, regularly lie on her back with her feet in the air, all floofy belly, and I genuinely consider it a compliment.

The one that really burns me is when I get something addressed to “Mrs. [his first and last name].” What the fuck? And that was usually from my late grandmother or my parents, so I have actually considered changing my name 12 years into our marriage. His family is awesome, and mine is kind of... they’re ok, I guess.

I’ve often been horrified at how cat food advertises itself to humans with descriptions of things *I* might order off a menu. Shelves full of shit like “Salmon and shrimp in a delicate gravy.”

Polar for life. They had a cucumber melon one a few years ago that was AMAZING with fresh mint and a splash of lemonade (and maybe some booze, too, if I was feeling wild).

I’m still confused. Getting through a shitty flight is easier in comfortable clothing, so, yes, I’m wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a hoodie. sorrynotsorry that I’m a woman who wears pants, and doesn’t paint myself up for a 6am flight, or wear a smart blouse to the doctor’s office.

I have a gyn appointment coming…

YES.  I’d watch the opening about six times before I finally let the episode play.  Now I have to go listen again.  Several times in a row.

“Gloriously awful” is exactly the right description. I read the book, then watch the whole series. If there was one thing I really wanted for the ending, it was for the dome to just stay there until all the characters died, and for the explanation of it’s existence to be “Aliens realized this small town was full of…

Yeah, Ashley! Listen to Donnie up there and stick to sprots!