I think this happened with my sister a little - she was a teenager, and by the time she came to me for help (Lillian, I... think I’m pregnant...) she was already in her third trimester. No one in our (very conservative) family suspected anything. My always tactful grandmother said “oh, I thought you were just…
run, lillian!
ohyouthief
I made some really damn good mac & cheese, ate tons of it, then drank a beer in a bubble bath. I’m not ready for snow and ice, so I’m just trying to forget about it with cheese and booze.
I can’t believe you mustard the courage to post that. Take your damn star.
Listen up, Pence.
I always seem to end up next to the people I least want to talk to at group dinners. It’s some kind of curse. Or some kind of cosmic trade-off, because when I fly, I always end up seated next to people who are quiet and polite.
Seriously. When all is said and done and the table is splitting for the birthday person, it’s like $10 extra on my part, tops. That’s really not too much to ask.
And if it’s *really* that much a burden, or you think the restaurant is too expensive, or you know your friend is an asshole and going to order the $1000…
Didn’t you get the memo? Only white men deserve to be humanized. You can like George Bush because you think he’s a guy you could drink a beer with, or Trump, even though he treats everyone like shit all the time, and doesn’t even pretend to hide it, But Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez? Well, she’s not white, or a man, or a…
Are you kidding? It’s perfectly legible:
Oh, poor baby. I hope she responds well to treatment. So does Kyoko, who will be 11 in a few months. (I’m not sure why the photo came out sideways, but I’m not going to fight with kinja right now).
OH GOD, HE ATE IT. All I want for christmas is to unsee this.
Why.
Why did you make this?
Why did I watch the whole thing anyway?
Why is he so sweaty?
Why was that beard?
I am so confused and nauseated.
My 33rd birthday is next week, and every time I’m feeling shitty about it, I remind myself that I still look way better than this dracula-faced nazi chucklefuck.
ONE OF THE PALMS ISN’T DOING SO WELL AS THE OTHER PALM, WE NEED TO MOVE THEM AND THE FERN EVERY MORNING BECAUSE DID YOU KNOW THEY NEED INDIRECT SUNLIGHT, WE DON’T WANT TO BURN THEM, BUT THEY’RE NOT IN THE RIGHT PLACES, THEY NEED DAPPLED SUNLIGHT, ALSO I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS TREE THE PREVIOUS OWNERS LEFT HERE IS…
I did love Momoa on Stargate Atlantis, but it’s becoming clear to me now that part of that was because his character never talked much.
And my husband is the same way. He will not shut up about whatever new hobby he has. Right now, it’s house plants. I’D LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT HOW YOU MISTED THE FERN AGAIN. YES, I AGREE…
My husband and I switched about a year ago. We both still bum a cigarette now and then if we’re out with friends who smoke, but we did basically what you’re talking about - lowering the nicotine over time until there isn’t any, then just breaking the habit (that’s been the hard part for me, but my husband was a…
I’m not sure if this is a disaster or best, but:
At a yankee swap, I opened a cool cat t-shirt, only to have it swapped by someone who got a Scott Baio record (an actual RECORD). I was pissed at first, but that’s how the game works (and who wouldn’t want to get rid of a Scott Baio record?). In a moment of inspiration, I…
Mother doesn’t like anything, and Mike looks like she pierced his taint with a towel charm.
The best $150 I ever spent was on a good pair of winter boots (which isn’t even that much, compared to some designer shit). I got them 5 years ago, and it was a revelation. I can get through a winter without cold, wet feet?! And they’re cute enough that I basically wear them year-round and to everything - casual?…
Oooh! And there was another apartment that was mostly fine (we had a mouse problem, and the landlady was an asshole, but it was otherwise ok), but there was also some guy who I think maybe used to live there because he’d show up drunk off his ass, try his key in our lock (obviously didn’t work), then pass out in front…