Our 10-year anniversary is coming up, and I’ve been thinking the same thing. I kept it when we first got married (well, I was going to hyphenate, but I am exceptionally lazy about filling out forms, so I just never had it legally changed).

Same with people who don’t tip. Like their meal and drink cost $20.31, so they throw a $20 on the table and think that’s just fine.

Fucking Long Island, it’s the Florida of the tristate

Mine said that a lot, too. She also said this once, while we were talking about the Boy Scouts anti-LGBT policies (she was for them, natch):

fuuuuuuck those people.

So, I know she’s 18 *now*, and this is kind of beside the point, but like... 5th graders can’t actually sign anything legally binding, right? WTF? How does the school even enforce this? “Yeah, 10-year-old Kerry here signed a contract that CLEARLY STATES there are no skittles allowed in class, but she ate skittles…

That’s not a pizza, that’s an orchestra. “Yeah, I’ll have a slice of the one with the fiddles and the grand piano, and sure, I’ll spring for the spruce tips.” THE FUCK IS A SPRUCE TIP?

As long as they aren’t eating dinner. That would be scandalous.

That Mike Pence tweet. I was laughing until I cried, then just crying again because HOLY SHIT this is our government.

(I mean, not you. You know who I mean).

LIMITED EDITION, YOU SAY?!

Well, there is that famous bible passage about how right before Jesus was nailed to the cross, he was also forced to bake a cake for a gay wedding.

“Pictures of both parties should be furnished as they look today.”

1) So what, if this story is trying to pull my heartstrings, it should.

I was holding it together, barely, until this. I don’t have kids, so I can’t even *begin* to imagine the pain of someone murdering one of my children.

“if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime!”. This, from a male coworker, while we were having a smoke outside and a pregnant woman was just walking by, minding her own fucking business.

Only one star to give, so here’s a big irresponsible fucking THANK YOU for destroying this troll.

And he looks so unhappy about it. It is the haircut and face of resignation. I’m almost kind of worried about him.