Of course he isn’t a good lover. He just went on record saying he doesn’t eat out.

I was so bummed last year that I couldn’t get to any of his Sappy Songs. I’m in central MA, but use mostly public transit, and it is a giant pain in the ass to get anywhere but Boston, where he was not. I could have done NY, but tickets were already sold out :(.

OMG OMG OMG. I AM INCOHERENT WITH JEALOUSY.

...

Abortion is one of the safest medical procedures available. Like, pretty much no one dies from it as long as they have access to healthcare*. Giving birth is way more dangerous than abortion.

AHHHH. I used to pass out at needles (once I passed out, came to, remembered the needle, then passed out again. My doctor laughed at me). Then I had surgery two weeks ago, and while it still creeps me out, I’ve gotten used to the blood draws and IVs, and I’m two weeks into four of having to give myself injections of a…

Damn, tried to star and kinja took one away. YES, holy shit.

It is my solemn duty to point out that everything you doo doo is also a dooty. This is a bad joke, but you’re not the only one who needs something to cling to.

Don’t forget about Shouty Spice, though these days, he does kind of look like he’s begging for the sweet release of death.

We’ve managed to deep-fry everything else, so why not?!

As a lawyer, how do you think such a case would play out? I’m honestly curious, because what would be the argument from the parents? “This camp is a fraud! I sent my kid there to cure the gay, but they didn’t isolate, beat, or humiliate my child even ONCE! Instead, they offered validation, support, and…

Why choose? “Tonight, we’ve got a real treat for you! Please give a warm welcome to Pissed-On Hay and the Puckered Assholes!”

Ha, calling it “sandwich lube” doesn’t help me any. It’s a texture thing, which is why I’m ok eating it cooked into crab cakes (assuming there isn’t tons of it, and there shouldn’t be), but not, say, potato salad.

I doubt he knows how to pick his nose.

I am so torn, because my Spicerized name (Megatron Cally) is fucking awesome, but I don’t want to give him credit. What do I do now?

He’s secured his place in the annals of history.

BORING? Did you SEE Blasto 1-6? Pfft.

Honestly, probably not until middle school (though my early childhood memories are kind of fuzzy). My dad made decent money, but my mother kind of blackmailed him for everything - essentially “what do you want more; the kids, or the furniture and your money?” (I should probably say, at this point, that MRA TROLL…

Not sure why everyone is jumping up your ass about this. I’m naturally fairly shy and quiet, and I’ve found that people usually take it one of two ways - either I’m a reliable, no-nonsense hard worker, or I’m an angry bitch who hates them. The people who think the latter are usually right (this got back to me at my…