“It is second in my heart only to people who quote themselves.”

I used to work at a water park, and I always hated those “guests” who thought that I was somehow their butler, maid, baby-sitter, concierge, and personal ass-licker, in addition to my actual job. I was always happy to help someone who was polite, even if they stopped me on my way out for a break, or at the end of a…

Ha, you’re right (kind of - I checked again after I posted, and most of them are actually not THAT bad, but there are still a lot listed for $250, and at least one for $600. Whether or not the sellers actually get that, or if it was worth it, is another matter, though). Your situation is pretty legit - like I said,…

You’re just plain evil. You know you’d make a killing on ebay.

No! You watch Bob Ross alone, quietly, in solemn appreciation, possibly a little depressed or anxious, but then he has a baby squirrel, and all is right in the world again, but it’s just you, and Ross, and a squirrel. What is that music?

Now I know how to torpedo your presidential campaign. Mwahahahaha!

Make it a horror movie!

I love my dad, but hell no should he be president, so I’d probably just INNOCENTLY leak something damning. Like the fact that he likes circus peanuts.

Yes, I love that about White Collar! Their marriage feels like a real partnership between two adults who love and respect each other, and actually have FUN together! They genuinely enjoy each other’s company! (why is that so hard to find on TV? Ugh). Elizabeth is a fully-formed character with her own career and…

I’m not usually a grammar-gotcha!, but if you’re going to be insufferably pretentious about something...

Comrade! I reaaaaally love Bone. It’s hilarious, and almost unbearably charming, and I just want to quote everything.

Best Pinkham’s lawyering ever.

That’s somewhat comforting. Mayo is the one thing I absolutely can’t touch. Everything else I don’t like, I can eat around, or deal with if it’s incorporated well enough that I don’t notice the texture, but mayo, no. Even though I logically know that mayo is made up of ingredients I find completely unobjectionable on…

But can they turn that caramel into QUICHE?! (I like your name).

I had maple-bacon jam on a burger once, and it was pretty damn good.

Holy crap, that is adorable.

I, fortunately, didn’t inherit the taste for them, but my grandmother and my father both love[d] them.

Hey, maybe there’s a point here. First the government laps at Big Salt, then the Tequila lobby swallows up a candidate, and the next thing we know, we’re all squeezed like delicious limes.

I think you inadvertently figured out the real reason he’s even running - he wants to get a BJ in the oval office. That’s a classy BJ, and The Donald can’t abide some loser like Bill Clinton having a classier BJ than him. TRUMP 2016!

Natalie Merchant gonna kick everyone’s ass, hey.