—JFK, 1962

I always figured that Yamauchi bought the Mariners as the ultimate in bragging rights amongst Japanese industrialists. Like uber-rich folks everywhere, plenty of Japanese tycoons have bought sports teams (particularly baseball teams) to show off their wealth. But Yamauchi bought an MLB team when the rest were buying…

WHATEVER YOU DO, STAY THE FUCK OUTTA OREGON, THERE’S NO PORTLANDS HERE FOR YOU TO MOVE TO.

whoosh

I hear Asheville and Austin are in Washington now too! MOVE RIGHT ALONG EVERYONE!

... Yes, yes it is! So hipsters, Californians, etc, please move there! Nothing to see here in Oregon, nothing at all, nosiree. No nonexistent sales tax, no great beer, pizza, coffee, no friendly liberals, MOVE ALONG NOW.

I think Nintendo’s ownership of Mariners was more important not because they were a videogame company, but a Japanese company. Ichiro wasn’t the first Japanese baseball player in the MLB but he was the most important. I doubt he would have made it over the MLB as soon as he did if it weren’t for the Seattle Mariners…

I think the story was that they bought the team to keep them in Washington. Also they did make those ken griffin baseball games back on the n64.

This makes more sense regarding the best baseball game of all time. Ken Griffey Jr Presents Major League Baseball. I still love that game.

opinions on the nudity part aside, the term “pop-up restaurant” needs to be launched into the sun.

A Paleo-inspired menu

To me, nude dining means sticking my dick in a Hot Pocket, so this is definitely a step up.

I just assumed basketball in Australia looked like this:

Hey, 19th Century Freudian psychiatrist here. This is a classic case of Electra complex. I recommend a tincture of laudanum, sometime before the Cleveland convention.

Viktor continued to deny paternity—going into detail for the court about when he had sex with Marija and the rhythms of her menstrual cycle—prompting the court to order a blood test.

Patrick, stop saying “‘yoffs.”

my name is Snacky AND YOU WILL ALL CALL ME THAT.

Kamala Harris is dope. I hope like hell she runs for president someday soon. (Edit: And before the jokez start, it’s pronounced like “Pamela” with a K, not like the horribly racist professional wrestling character.)