You basically can’t say “Has anyone seen Saint?” without a lisp.

I've never hate-fucked someone before and I feel like this would be a good place to start.

I’ll start this by saying that I LOVE MY MOM. She is a gem.

I AM OBSESSED WITH NEVER ENOUGH.

I remember that! I wish I could find it because it was a really good story. If I remember right there was some sneaking around and he was really nice and polite and a pretty decent lay.

OMG that documentary made me realize how foolish I had been to pine over Brian in my youth. Brian was a boy, Kevin was a MAN.

I feel like Harry knows his way around a vagina but I'm not kicking any of them out of bed for eating crackers, know what I'm saying?

Me too! I loved that show and always liked him because he seemed to be the only level-headed one on a show filled with crazy people. I would get so excited when I'd see him in stuff after that.

No one who speaks German could be an evil man!

SNOOTLE.

Seriously, this guy is talking way too much about gaping pussy sores to NOT be gay.

Normally I’m not about sharing Ghost Devon Sawa with anyone but I am very okay with this.

1987 here - pretty sure my ovaries revved up the second I saw this movie.

Seriously, when did Gale overtake Thor as the Hot Hemsworth?

Preach. I was one of those assholes who was like, “I’ve got a phone, I’ve got a laptop, the fuck do I need a tablet for?” Now you can pry my iPad from my cold, dead hands.

I'm mostly just jealous that apparently this dummy got to see Hamilton.

I was gonna say yes but the whole pilly boxers thing rang far too real to me.

I’ve just learned of the phrase “my basement is flooded” and I feel like this is a very appropriate time to use it.

I am all about a good royal scandal but look at his eyes - those are some Charles-ass lookin’ eyes.

I can’t believe your own cousin new-phone-who-dis’d you.