I’m sure the issue was that they were just assholes before the weed, and so assholey that the weed couldn’t counter it.

I can honestly say that in this case the best way to have her learn is to help her get away with it. Our corrections system is not built around rehabilitation, it’s built around punishment. And people really don’t learn from punishment. Putting her in jail, derailing her life, would have increased the odds or more…

Actually, the best way to turn a normal teenager who sometimes smokes weed into a criminal is putting them in jail. Your education gets disrupted, you have troubles finding a job with your record after and you meet lots of real criminals in jail. Jail basically is crime school.

Got a bunch of stars for this story on an unrelated Kitchenette blog. Worth reposting:

I am made unreasonably happy about the shake story. Though I don’t personally work there, there’s a small, local ice cream shop down the road I get coffee at (weird, I know, but it’s cheap and pretty good) and there are just so many entitled kids there whose parents don’t do anything about. TThe worst one of these…

@sshole kids are the absolute worst because you can’t even really get back at them due to their age.

I’m going to have to find a way to incorporate dildochugger into my everyday vocabulary.

I had two bosses at Borders before I managed the place. One was legitimately insane and routinely threw books at me.

I don’t have access to mine right now, but I do have a story!!!

Nope. Best practices for suicide reporting recommend not using “committed,” which sounds like a crime or, to religious communities, like a sin, and “kill yourself” is just insensitive, crude, and poorly phrased. “Died by suicide” is the phrasing recommended by mental health professionals and the American Foundation…

During high school in CT, a close friend ran away by hopping on a train to NYC with another friend. I think they turned right around when they arrived at Grand Central. Too late though, the damage was done. Friend’s father cut off almost all of her long, beautiful locks. A rare Mormon family in a very WASPy town.…

At some point, I just started making a quiet keening noise while staring at my phone in horror. This has been both my best and worst lunch break ever.

“Having a drunken stranger stalk you and show up in his underwear in your apartment is a beautiful thing!” He shouted at me. “Why are you treating it like it’s dirty?”

He grinned at me, lifted his kilt and without even hesitating, flopped his sad, exposed wiener onto our stainless steel counter top.

Jesus, each of these stories should have ended with a scalding bowl of soup to the dick for the men involved.

Oh! I do have a story. But it does paint me and some of my friends in a bad light. All the same, here it goes.

Back in the day, I was often told that with my big 80s perm-curly red hair and similar features that I bore a resemblance to Tawny Kitaen from the Whitesnake video. So one night some girlfriends and I were out at a club and these guys were buying us drinks because they had somehow been led to believe that I was the…

When I was about 13, I pretended to be a soon to be mother on a baby name message board. I really liked baby names at the time (girl names only, der), carefully maintaining lists for all my future children. This was back around 2001 so it was a very primitive message boards, but I was extremely active, becoming a top…

I pretended to be straight for 20 years. Does that count?

More stories please. <sits down criss-cross applesauce and stares at you >