If a customer wants a waffle that’s griddled until theres no gluten, you griddle it until it has no gluten!

Re: the fake allergies

She probably opened it up to see what was wrong since it didn’t taste like artificial chocolate flavoring. Then she took the color as “proof” that there was’t enough chocolate in it. I know this particular brand of idiot quite well.

When I lived in CA, I worked in a kitchen in close proximity to the public. One day, I overheard someone say to his dining companion, “You know, we’re really much more knowledgable about food here in California because we’re so diverse and love all kinds of food. I mean, we have flavors that people in the Midwest…

“Here, we see a server remove the packaging from a frozen cheesecake that arrived on truck this morning to be thawed in a cooler. And so begins and ends our tour of Obscene Selection of Cheesecakes.”

“Now THAT’S White Zinfandel!” which he promptly poured into his monogrammed thermos.

What is it with sushi and stupid people? I was out to dinner this weekend at a very nice sushi place (the kind where they serve sushi and that’s it, no hibachi or noodle dishes or anything) and the two women at the table in front of us were absolute nitwits. They sat down, looked over the menu, and then started doing…

Steakback Outhouse

“she didn’t tip Sunday lunch waitstaff because she knew ‘that means they didn’t go to church.’”

AMEN. At first I was relieved to serve at Steakback Outhouse, which had no lunch service back then, but imagine my horror when they decided to open Sunday lunch several months after opening my location. Oh, the hatred.

The feels...

Apology pizzas should definitely be a thing. There’s a website where you can order a glitter bomb sent to people who’ve wronged you, why not a website where you can order a pizza sent to someone you’ve wronged?

They are salads only in the sense that their crackers with stuff on them are ‘pizza’.

Back when I would go to Chic-Fil-A, whenever I was visiting my parents (so, once a year), I one time ended up with a nice older lady cashier who FREAKED THE FUCK OUT when my change came up to be $6.66. Not even “HAHAHAHA! That’s really weird...” type of thing. Nope, she blanched and stared at the cash register in…

popular chain restaurant that rhymes with “Crapplebees.” (Editor’s Note: Oh for fuck’s sake)

Much like Jaime’s credit card, the waitress was quite sunk.

Jamie Layton’s story reminds me of a famous story I heard when I was working at a regional theater festival.

I was with some friends in a bar and this douche started hitting on my friend and being a real dick about it. She was trying to be polite about it, but I didn’t feel any such obligation. So I whispered something in her ear about him and she laughed. He saw it and replied, “If you’re mad that I’m talking to your friend…

Waiting at the airport for a flight. There’s a line of about 10 people at the counter that were delayed from an earlier flight. Some dude pushes past the line and screams at the desk agent that, “(He) has to be on this flight! And it has to be first class!” Agent tells him that she can help him but he need to wait in…

I was at my senior homecoming, looking hot and dancing my ass off, or so I thought.