"So I put exactly three pieces of popcorn into the FUCKING COURTESY TRAY I DON'T CARE THAT IT'S PEDANTIC THAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED and slide the tray over to her."

OMG, I seriously wanted to stand up and cheer when I read that!

I just came here to say that every time a BCO comes out, I get anxious. I have a deep love hate relationship because it triggers some sort of service industry PTSD deep inside me. I never contribute and rarely comment because I just have to keep a lot of that locked up. I haven't had enough time to recover yet. …

So ALLLLLL you do all day is work a job that pays your rent, and you speak French? LAME! Why aren't you an astrophysicist? Neil Degrasse Tyson is one. It's not that hard.

It is, 100%, to keep people from complaining to corporate. See, what people don't realize is, you will totally get something free for complaining to corporate. However, I'd bet that the person you just complained about will lose their job over the complaint.

I think the Pickle-Tip guy was a malfunctioning outer space robot from Mars. See, he heard, "Don't take any wooden nickles," and then glitched it into "don't take any wooden pickles," and then misinterpreted that to mean "The earth-humans demand gifts of pickles plaaced upon the wooden table. I have pleases Emperor…

One time when I was outside of a Cheesecake Factory smoking a cigarette a man propositioned me thinking I was a hooker.

I had a table once whisper loudly to their children, "if you don't go to college, you'll end up waiting tables like her..." while I was prebussing their table.

"Your job is to serve us and do what we say. You're not supposed to talk back."

"Your job is to serve us and do what we say. You're not supposed to talk back."

Maybe they just assume that anyone seeing fighter jets flying overhead automatically gets a freedomgasim, and that the next time she got a freedomgasim she'd feel bad for denying those brave flyers their discount.

Along the same lines as Becca's story about people making assumptions about educational backgrounds, I waited tables at an Italian chain restaurant that falls between Olive Garden and Macaroni Grill in terms of cost/quality the summer between college and law school. Our clientele was generally pretty decent, and as a…

There are two types of customers: those who adhere to a Copernican/Galilean heliocentric model of the Solar System and those who don't. The former are rational human beings who understand that the world revolves around the Sun. The latter are unrepentant assholes who are truly convinced that they are the center of…

Oooooh, those assholes in the last one. I want to slap them.

so good.

Managers who don't stand up for their employees are THE WORST.

Air Force Brethren must be friends with Wig Lady, who thinks "I'm pretty sure my granddaughter worked at Hollister for the summer, back in the 90s" means that I should give her a mall employee discount. Please, continue to play Six Degrees of Barely Relevant so I can come up with a reason to give you sixty cents off…

So....were the "Air Force" sons in Lawrence's story threatening to bomb San Francisco if this restaurant didn't give them a military discount? I'm trying figure out if they could have possibly meant anything else.

Me during the popcorn story

I’ve literally never had Stealth Vomit but I know friends who suffer from it. I usually have 60-20 minutes lead time, with occasional false alarms. But I guess it’s better to jump up in the middle of the night and run to the bathroom for no good reason than to vomit in the middle of the night with no heads up at all.

I don’t know if this counts or not, but here we go.