"Calcium does such frightful things to my bones, making them so dense and heavy. Without calcium, I can live my life in brittle fragility as God intended."

A walk-in 40... I'm crying. I'm crying for the server. I'm crying for the host and bussers who had to put that table together. How does a group of 40 people not have a single person in it that says MAYBE THIS IS A BAD IDEA AND MAYBE THIS IS RUDE.

I think there is something about being away from home in groups that turns tweens and teens into morons. And stuff like debate makes them pretentious morons. Spring in DC is class trip season and it can be just painful if you get stuck behind these kids in line somewhere. I can't believe that kids whose parents send…

Breadstix, Inc.

I can't call the place by name because I'm not 100% sure I don't need to work there again ... but Kayleigh Davis, as another refugee of Breadstix, Inc, you are my fucking hero.

Once at a store I worked at, there was a kid running around unsupervised. By kid, I mean like maybe 5 yrs old, and by running around, I mean "full sprint, trying to body-check other customers". The floors were tile, and frequently had a lot of dust on them, so this wasn't something we encouraged. I asked the mother…

I'm so glad the baby punting story ended with the parents apologizing.

These customers remind me of the dumbest person I ever had walk through the doors of the Borders I managed after college.

Sounds like the McDonald's kids transferred in from the Waffle House last week.

My significant other and I have entire conversations through our stuffed animals.

Inserting my cat's name into songs that I'm singing along to. "All The Scouty ladies! All the Scouty ladies!" "My Scoutaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun!" "Last Scout. Last Scout. For Scooooout." And since Kate Bush was mentioned, "Running up that Scout! Running up that Scooooout. With no Scoutleemmms"

I love this! Late one night I caught my mom-this was many years ago-playing Wolfenstein and screaming, "FUCK YOU, NAZI BASTARDS! I'M COMING FOR ALL OF YOU!" I burst out laughing, and she was all, "What? I like video games. Now you know!" Best moment of my young adult life.

I say really sarcastic things to commercials. Out loud. Like full out mocking them. And then I laugh, because I'm hilarious. It's really tragic.

The food scene is actually starting to get really great in Pittsburgh, but if your friend is using Primanti's as the example, I suspect he needs to get out and try more places. :)

I moved to Pittsburgh a few years ago from Hawaii by way of central West Virginia, so I had serious whiplash in terms of the quality of Chinese food available. I agree there's not a lot of top shelf Chinese food in Pittsburgh, but I've been really pleasantly surprised with a lot of the local Thai restaurants and some…

I hope that poor boy was okay after his parents insisted on him eating that food even though it had gluten in it.

Today is my 8th straight day at work (at a coffee shop rife with monogrammed thermosery). After placing our weekly order this morning I have been refreshing the Kitchenette homepage repeatedly waiting for comic relief. Pinkham, you've restored my sanity yet again.

Canadian milk?

I choose to think it's a pleasant phenomenon, caused by people trying to identify with and understand others, which the world could use a lot more of.

So, if I say "skinny" when ordering anything at Starbucks it negates the 800 calories, yes?