If you’re putting your face into the water, why not just open your eyes underwater? You’ll still be able to see well enough and then you can just go ahead and swim down and get it.

THIS. I rushed to Shade Court for this.

Also, what about Mika Brzezinski’s tweet?

I used to do it full time about 15 years ago and would you believe that I still have a few customers that I do PayPal calls with. I like how they don’t question it, I seriously have no idea how old my character is anymore or the storyline I gave in the beginning.

I really hope Annie makes it. Sweet dreams are made of this!

Phone sex is still a thing?

Bottom line: The NRA is making this ad because this is how the Republican base sees our country, at this moment in time, and it accurately reflects their feelings about everyone else in the country. These people are heavily armed and itching for a fight, talking nice and listening to their concerns will not defuse the…

You can judge a country by how it treats its prisoners and in this case the prison visitors

Well, it’s hard to read effectively with his nose pointed up so high.

I’m guessing you didn’t read the whole “ten months later he is found NOT GUILTY” part.

I never, ever accept wedding invitations. No exceptions. This has been my policy since the last wedding I went to in 2005 (and I was the groom for that one.)

Because every time I have gone to a wedding in any capacity (including my own, referenced above), the couple getting married has seen their union end in an…

To be clear, the Vicente Fox video is not shade. It was, however, pure poetry.

That new Ken doll is cute and seems fun. Barbie is going to have a great time bearding for him.

Babies: If the Kardashians can make them, how valuable can they be?

Just, uh... just gonna leave this here then

Two stories: one true, the other I was told it was true, but I’m not really sure.

That’s straight dominance fantasy. Very common.

If your hands are big enough to capture both of her wrists, take her on her back, with her wrists together above her head. Or doggy style with her wrists behind her back.

That reminds me: I still need to try these.

You know that fucker was making them buy name brand.

If he had the Target Red Card, he could have saved 5%, and his bail would only be $950,000.