"It's week 10. Murph, the deadbeat in your league, hasn't paid his entry fee yet but his team is likely to miss the playoffs. You are the commissioner. Murph has offered you Julius Thomas and Julio Jones in exchange for not beating his ass over $75. What is the probability that you win the league by adding those…

I'm a 5'10, 190lb white guy who lives in Manhattan is often one of the bigger guys around at any given NYC bar. Whenever I go to Chicago I feel like Danny DeVito. Why the fuck are bros in Chicago so goddam big? The term "corn fed" is not a sufficient explanation.

Is this one the man? I can't tell.

2. Sign Incognito

That shirt is the cotton embodiment of Minnesota Nice. You dress like you like the Vikings, but you clearly don't mean it.

He has to play Jadeveon Clowney and JJ Watt at the same time this season, so something like that might happen with extreme force.

Do these people also wear all white, chain smoke and never speak?

alright alright alright

Going to that stadium has all the charm of visiting a Biker Bar located behind a prison on Halloween night.

-1 Rick Reilly

"You only need one, right?"

I'm gonna guess Dion Waiters. No specific reason, just seems like the gassy, dick flopping type.

didn't say he wasn't (I agree with you that he was), just saying that making a 2 minute video splicing some plays together doesn't prove much

Young Ray (like, Bucks Ray) was pretty athletic, you'd have to go back 11+ years but he used to have a much more athletic game.

Not the point. At some point, Ray probably made a dunk that looked like a dunk either MJ or Kobe made, and either Kobe or MJ probably ran off a couple screens to shoot a 3 at some point, etc. I'm just saying that there is enough game tape of those three guys that you could probably find enough random single plays made…

Those two guys were stars who played the same position for 15 seasons and 41,000 minutes (MJ) and 18 years and 45,500 minutes (Kobe). Of course they're gonna have a bunch of plays that looked similar over 96,000+ minutes and 33 seasons total. You could probably make a video like this with either of them and Ray Allen…

NUTMEG!

In 2005 when I was barely 18 (maybe 3 days before I left for college) I got a reckless driving citation on the Beltway in Fairfax County, VA (where I grew up). It was about 4am and I was driving a drunk friend home from a party I had also attended (where I had stopped drinking several hours earlier but probably still…

yeah, I didn't mean so much "call him on it" as much as telling him "I got really into reading Kissing Suzy Kolber a couple years ago and made fun of you on twitter to the point where you blocked me. I probably deserved it. Sorry about that, dude. [insert offer for a citrusy beer here]"

he blocked me too. I recently ran into him in person (very nice dude) in a place where I think I will be running into him routinely, and I almost want to bring it up with him.