I never understood the appeal of simply standing somewhere while someone takes a picture of it. Do you need to know what you looked like next to an alien statue?

I would love to use something like this, but my boss pretty much conducts her social life by forcing us into afternoon-long meetings.

Mark, we should be boyfriends because you are my ideal man.

I used to think that I was just eventually going to somehow create children and raise them, but as I've gone through my 20s, I realize that it is not at all something I want. Besides the obvious barriers with my particular situation as a gay male (finding a willing egg, fertilizing said egg, and hoping it carries to…

New York City: Take out your phone and yell into it as loudly as possible as soon as the subway goes aboveground.

Sounds like they were at capacity.

I'm shocked that the Evernote web clipper isn't on here.

Yeah, that's nice for Ryan Howard, but how is his hair? Does he run fast?

Gymnasts are without a doubt the most underrated athletes on the planet. Give me a 5' woman who can do a double layout and Shaposhnikova over any musclebro any day of the week.

There's less stigma around government assistance? Tell that to the 53%. #NOBAMAHUSSEIN

I really never understood the Gabby Douglas thing, and I'm a avid/rabid/football-in-Brazil-level gymnastics fan. What was so wrong about it? That it was straight?

Must be nice to not need to spend 9 hours a day at a day job.

If a movie gets a D from G&L, it's probably really a B- or C+, but I think this may be the one case when they're not being too harsh. It looks so fucking terrible.

What's ugly about it? I find Spanish to be a very difficult language to listen to. It hits the ears all wrong, it's often unintelligible, and it's kind of dumbed down compared to other Romance languages. No tea, no shade against speakers, but I find it to be ugly.

You can accuse Beyoncé of a lot of things, but looking haggard is certainly not one of them? Try harder.

Me?

Spanish is certainly an ugly language.

Boston was so spot on. Just...so, so spot on. Kudos.

Maybe he was an accident and his mother named him where he should've ended up instead.

Just like how Seinfeld wouldn't exist if even two of them had cell phones.