And yet this still does nothing to dispel the rumors that Colin Kaepernick is so, so gay.

Ellipses*

On pure death toll, I'd say that conservative Christians are doing worse.

I wish Chris Hayes would dish out a smackdown in the bedroom with me. He pings so hard.

I went to college in Boston and man, it was just so great. I pretended I didn't like the accent, but hot damn I love it. I once gave a lifelong Bostonian the opportunity to be the dominant one and tell me how much better the Red Sox and Boston were than my team (Yankees, born and raised) and city (NYC). He wasn't into…

It's my not-so-secret fantasy to hook up with a straight Boston bro. Something about literally everything about them being horrible makes each negative quality almost negate each other.

I almost exclusively book from work. I stalk prices at home until they're where I want them, then pounce when there's a perfect confluence of my available funds + their rates. I do it first thing when I get in and it brightens the rest of my day because fuck this desk, I'm gonna be in [place] in [x] days.

People who drink carbonated urine are the worst.

When I was a 21-year-old fageleh, all I wanted to fuck were guys 35+. In fact, five years later, thta's still my preference.

I blame Bloomberg and other white people for making me live that far up anyway, so, cool.

What about the Manhattan dweller that doesn't venture below 59th Street? Because fuck if I'm going to get on the A at 190 and pay twice as much for what the same shit will cost up in Inwood.

Psyched to get another Roku! Soon every room in the apartment will have one...

You realize that's because if she didn't have that much makeup on, she'd look washed out and expressionless to the audience and judges, right? Just checking.

The most shocking thing about this story is that there's something to say about American manufacturing.

All I need is DeGrassi Street. I've actually never been to Canada even though I'm from the NYC metro area and have lived either there or in New England my entire life. But I'm hoping to go gawk at some of the athletes at the 2015 PanAm Games! See you there ;).

To quote Karen Walker:

Ah, my first "but wait this is someone who also has a pee pee" moment was probably Alexei Nemov in the 1996 Olympics when I was 9.

By far the two hottest Olympians this year. I gotta drive seven hours up north one of these days. All I want to do is enjoy Canadian medical marijuana and do the things it makes me feel like doing with Alex Bilodeau.

I didn't start it. In the beginning, it was dark, remember?

And I never asked for a mentally ill diatribe about Christianity, so we're even. See you in hell! JK IT'S NOT REAL.