Most excellent use of mise en place ever. No contest.

As though Zoe Saldana weren't useless enough, she now likens being allegedly bisexual to being androgynous? Fuck off.

All you need to know about her politically is that her nose is so far up Bloomberg's ass, and the ass of anyone who will advance her agenda/give her money, that she's completely lost touch with the needs of middle- and low-income New Yorkers. I worry that a lot of people will vote for her simply because of her…

Can someone with a gigantic death ray please obliterate Ian Somerhalder? I know his tweet wasn't supposed to sound douchey, but it comes across as very "Poor little rich boy wants his suitcases, so the interests of labor need to take a backseat." What are the odds he even waits at the carousel for his bags himself…

No, we all have. And sometimes when there's no proper cleanup method, it happens out of necessity. (Maybe straight guys don't do that, but as a cocksucker, I don't really see the big deal.)

Speaking from experience, sometimes all it really takes for a man to figure out what he wants is a good "sandwich."

I've always found Ted to be far more attractive than he actually is. Or Josh Radnor, I guess. He's the Nice Jewish Boy you can take home to your parents. I would totally date Ted if he decided the mother was really just some egg donor and confessed his true love of peen. Now, wouldn't THAT be a twist.

Maybe it was just her way to let people know there was a colonial woman on the wing of the plane, dressed in traditional garb and churning butter.

Right, except that the concept of "Deadly Sins" assumes that Christian doctrine holds any factual weight, which, to quote Ross Geller, it so does not.

What is Kanye being punished for?

Yeah, but she doesn't have a movie coming out, so this is a major success. Apparently.

Truth.

SHE IS MY QUEEN.

Have you ever seen an NCAA Gymnastics competition? Every time an athlete finishes a routine, she gets high fives from every one of her teammates. Six athletes per event, four events, and about 12 teammates = 576 high fives in a standard dual meet.

Manila Luzon is one of the best queens in the show's history. Fuck these people.

"...the innate biases of their own dicks."

Well, it's Jezebel, so discrimination that favors women is okay, but if the gym were to hold but one "men only" hour, the editorial staff would be filing a class action suit of their own.

Right. So why is it acceptable that the author of this article denied that stigma, which you just admitted is a nearly universally known concept with facts that apparently grant powers of speech to pets? Because it's Jezebel and only factual assertions about women's issues need to be verifiable?

So basically, it's totally cool that Tracie misrepresented the facts surrounding societal stigma about penis size compared to vaginal size because why would she need to do that accurately in A DIRECT COMPARISON BETWEEN THE TWO ISSUES AT HAND because this isn't a blog for men?

Nothing like unsubstantiated personal anecdotes to prove a point!