I wonder what it’s like for real money to be monopoly money to you. It just must be an entirely different sort of world and thinking.

• “Leftover Vietnamese food at home would be so fucking good right now”

I never leave. I’m sleepy after sex.

I... don’t understand your confusion. He didn’t want to have sex a second time (for whatever reason... didn’t think he’d get it up, didn’t like it much, etc.), but didn’t want to leave until morning. Sounds pretty normal.

I think it died. JUST LIKE LOVE.

I’m just imagining a sad gorilla with an iPhone. “Wait...so u no girlfriend?”

I think I have left one night stands immediately after boning for every reason you listed. Most guys are cool with that, but every once in awhile you get someone who is like ‘but u girlfriend now’ over text as you’re walking back to your place, and then you know you made the right choice.

A green card means that you’ve been granted permanent resident status, which means that you have indefinite permission to live and work in the US. The big difference between permanent residency and citizenship (other than some voting rights and stuff which aren’t really relevant to this situation) is that permanent…

The Hemsworth are like koalas.

I took it more that it’s interesting how people are supporting this cut now add opposed to 10+years ago with Britney when we were calling her crazy and belittling her. That’s how I took it.

I see you’re being sarcastic, but Eid al-Adha Block Party/Community BBQ would be absolute gold and you know it.

Eidapalooza

Yom Kippur-Coachella. Think about it. We could make a killing.

Even better...Ramadan Bonnaroo. We could call it....Ramadannaroo.

Yea I don’t think these color runs can be counted as “celebrating Holi”, so much as appropriating one part of it. Per the website,

Good idea, unless a) you start dating someone you are already “friends” with or b) the person your dating sends a friend request - ignoring that is going to be a problem.

I’d like an auto reply feature that allows me to shut down bigoted rhetoric with links and sources. Just *click* your argument is invalid, and then if they reply with anything other than “wow I had no idea thank you for your thoughtful response” it just keeps spamming them with facts.

Right? How many times do they have to suggest I friend my Shitty Ex’s new girlfriend? I’m sure she's a lovely human, FB, but I just don't fucking think so.

can their new features make him fat and bald already?! jesus.

“ongoing effort to develop resources for people who may be going through difficult moments in their lives.”

If they made it possible to scrub anyone who posts about keeping refugees out of the US I’d pay money for that. I mean, not much money, but still.