His tweeting reminds me of that one friend everyone has on FB that is “drama free” but always finds a way to get mixed up in the dumbest BS imaginable. My favorite status update is when they write, “Ugh, GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. F*CK MY LIFE!!!!” Of course, they won’t actually tell you what happened…

Sheesh. Looks like proper kerning died, too.

Preach! I am so sick of 45 saying something on video, and then trying to tell us all it was reported wrong by the news. We saw you, and heard you. Just because you don’t like something doesn’t make it fake. I don’t like spiders, but no matter how many times I say fake spiders, they are still here.

Also, is Phoenix in the running for America’s worst city? Who am I missing?

From the show Designing Women, season 3, episode 17, wherein Charlene gets engaged and is tested by her fiancé’s snooty family:

From Hardhome Depot, of course!

When reached for comment, Sarah Huckabee-Sanders simply angrily stared at the reporter and the wall behind and to the left of him simultaneously.

Hope Hicks is giving me a Doug Stamper in a Wig Vibe.

Pretty sure my proximity to DC will mean a quick death. I am not equipped in any way to survive in a post-apocalyptic world, I have too many allergies and I doubt 1-800-Contacts would still be in business.

Remember when we couldn’t elect Hillary because she was a hawk who would start wars?

I would also include ‘Grave of the Fireflies’. I’ve never seen a more devastating anti-war movie.

Will the similarities to Nixon never cease? Let’s go through the looking glass: Nixon’s middle name was Milhouse, and this is Milhouse channeling Trump:

Yeah, I think the bride/groom made an informed decision, but I feel bad for the innocent bystanders. Can you imagine, you’re already dreading going to your shitty conservative cousin’s wedding because when her Facebook isn’t MAGA it’s a fucking wedding countdown clock, and all you’re looking forward to is the open…

Don’t worry everyone… I got this.

Nah I’d take a photo of every cheque they send to pay off the $1 million and then when the book is filled with those images send it off as a personal reminder.

“Her family is the United States Coast Guard. And I told Taylor, ‘I will not turn my back...”

Reince should txt him to say, “Congratulations, I’ll pray for your child.”

Sad!

I often find that sometimes a good facial expression is enough. Looking at him like “you are completely insane, no one thinks that” can actually be enough, and sometimes, backing it up with a simple “your position is indefensible” is often really functional. Cold, calm, and low in tone. I have also used “that position…