BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I love this comment so much I wish I could marry it (and then cheat on it, weep publicly about it, as Jesus for forgiveness and then get a divorce)

Freddie Mercury was Zoroastrian. Pat Boone is Christian. Just sayin’.

Shut up Candace. You’re as homophobic as they come. You’re just smart enough to realize that shit won’t fly in 2017.

What you should actually side-eye the Oakland A’s about is how they’ve spent basically the last decade trying to get a new stadium built in several places that are not Oakland (San Jose, Fremont, etc.):

You sound stupid.

Ugh. My kid has been BEGGING to see this movie since he first saw the trailer months ago. Every weekend he reminds me that he REALLY wants to see Boss Baby. And now it’s finally here. I think I might keep saying it hasn’t come out yet...

This has reminded me of a series I read when I was really young that I loved. Unicorns of Balinor

I just want to be extra crystal clear: this person is NOT my friend! Thanks!

I’m pretty sure the title below sold at least a million copies. Best selling book of the 2000's, some people say.

How could I forget his masterpiece?

There’s a tragic lack of “Pounded in the Butt by My Own Butt”.

You’ve never heard of Chuck Tingle? You’re missing out, my friend!

“When the angry T-Rex corners the huntress in a box canyon, it seems more interested in her wet womanhood than in her flesh.”

Do you have an etsy?

It’s straight up lame.

Plus...wouldn’t someone just snatch it off your head?

Fuck no I’m not wearing this anywhere. It’s for hott stoned backyard selfies, not sharing.