My breakups always consisted of me writhing seductively on a bed by myself. What’s the problem with that? Oh but I couldn’t afford champagne, does Rolling Rock count?

Zayn somehow always makes sex sound depressing. That goddamned Pillowtalk song is sexual without being sexy or fun at all.

I like it, it’s my fault.

When it comes to videos about famous people problems, give me Lucky by Britney Spears, or give me nothing. Everything else can GTFO.

I assume they both fall asleep

Yeah, the one saving grace to this video is how beautiful Zayn is, but I can’t even see him? Like, the whole point of Zayn is that he’s gorgeous, but if I can’t see his lush eyelashes and perfect features, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But now you don’t know how it ends....

Not enough cowbell, either...

Meanwhile, Swift is going through her parallel agonies, exposing a single boob, as though to say, “My heart is under here.”

I think the director said “Hey Taylor, show us what you think porn looks like.” And she did... this.

This video is about as hot as the Fifty Shades books/movies.

I did that pouring one bottle of champagne into a glass thing this morning at work except while filling my glass at the water cooler and thinking about that closeup of Zayn’s eyelashes.

Fell asleep watching this. 1/10 would not re-watch.

Oh no! I’m sorry, but she and the dress are both v bad.

yes, please.

His song “The Sweetest Love” was our first dance song at our wedding. As I’m the only person alive who remembers this (including my husband), I’m going to pretend I’ve forgotten.

Hey now, hey...snakes get rid of pests, love the warmth, and sleep all day; they are clearly democrats. Probably stoners, too.

I feel like I need to mail it a sweater.

How interesting...