They say that Deez Nuts is an Independent, but in my experience he has always leaned more to the left.

He is Julia Roberts in that movie where she ate the same style eggs her boyfriend did.

never fucking trust a 19 year old girl who still listens to fall out boy

No, the one good thing about waist trainers was realizing my 9 year old has been listening to me when a commercial came on for them during Little House On The Prairie. Her exact quote was, “I bet there isn’t something like this for men.”

did you donate to his SUPER PECK?

I dated a guy for a few weeks because he looked like David Wain. Turns out that’s not a good reason ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Once, I had the flu but didn’t know it yet. I drank a bottle of chardonnay and ate a bunch of pineapple (don’t ask). I listened to Toxic at some point in the night. Later, I became violently ill and vomited bright yellow vomit for the next 12 hours. I then spent the next 8 hours dry heaving. The entire time, that…

The emergency room’s personnel stared down at the young girl’s body. Something about her aura had changed. The EKG’s steady pulse gained the ineffable quality of a dirge. The lonely drumbeat of a vacant mind; an imprisoned body. A defeated Dr. Spears gripped into her surgical mask and slowly dragged it from her face.…

I bet that amazing Mark Ronson version with ODB can cure cancer.

I wish her family had played Khia’s “My Neck, My Back” instead.

That Vine is literally the first time I’ve ever heard or seen Collins and I can completely understand why nobody would like him.

If it’s of any comfort, Wilmer. Failed tests have kept people from leaving Queens for generations.

Not to mention that there is still all of Thursday and until the last minute of the deadline Friday to go, the Mets are still looking for a bat, and have already demonstrated that they’re willing to part with Flores. So he’s probably going to be stressed the whole time wondering if he actually will be dealt. Hard not…

Differs on one key thing——a lot of Mets fans dont like Collins, but I havent met a single “Mad Men” fan that doesnt love Roger.

tl:dr lolmets

Prince Fielder: “Hey, cool, we got Ham ...

Hey that’s bull. No way 40k people came to a Mets game.

Cause it’s pretty rude to tell a guy “Hey man, I know you moved here from Venezuela at 16 and have been a part of this organization for seven years and living in New York as a Met for the past three, but you’re going to fucking Milwaukee, and oh by the way you get to process these feelings in front of 40,000 fans and…

Finally:

The old saying is that there’s no crying in baseball, but since the Mets don’t play baseball what Flores is doing is perfectly fine.