The irony not withstanding, it takes a major set of balls to call out a sports news outlet for showing a dick, while simultaneously showing the same said dick.

And that is a ball outside.

Yeah, what the heck? I'm not sure if they're just playing along or what. Because if they are taking me seriously, it's the first time that has ever happened.

QQ: What would be wrong to masturbating to Britney songs in the shower? Sounds like that would be the best way to do it.

I spent a lot of time jamming to Britney secretly in the shower* over the past decade, so I also hope she gets through all this nonsense. All the ups, all the downs, all the wtfs... I just want there to be a rainbow at the end of this road.

*I spent about 3 minutes trying to decide if that sounded like I was talking…

ARE PEOPLE JUST NOT AS WORRIED ABOUT SEPSIS AS I AM?

The point, though, is that even if the 2-year-old could, not relaxing her hair doesn't make her hair unkempt or inappropriate.

If you think a 2-year-old is going to sit patiently in a salon chair while her hair gets relaxed, I have a bridge I'd like to sell you.

My favorite neg ever:

Him: Zelda!
Me (dressed as Link from Legend of Zelda): Link!
Him: Huh?
Me: I'm dressed as Link. Zelda is the princess.
Him: Whatever. I know way more about video games than you.
Me:…

I wonder what time of day it is that his breath can smell like all three of those at once.

RIGHT? I was looking for memes of "Oh my god, Becky, look at her butt" and I kept getting ones with "toochie" at the end. Lil' Wayne added that on when he referenced it in one of his songs. It has absolutely no relevance to anything and adds nothing to the meme at all.

I'm with you on the song. Disappointing - girlfriend has put out some incredible material, but this is 85% Sir Mix A Lot sample & a couple of halfhearted verses.

positives: Nicki's makeup, the background booty shakers and Nicki's ass

I like the songggg. What I am more worried about is that most of her audience will not know that she's sampling Sir Mix-a-Lot. Otherwise, feelin' her L'Trimm vibe here, am I right?

Well what are YOU doing to stop the spread of American Sign Language?

What do we pour on people for concussion awareness?

Perhaps the better tribute would have been to let the Brown guys win.

Well, that's just plain awful. As someone who was in the military, I can speak to the amount of damage all of this infidelity and drama do, and how much more prolific it is in the military compared to the civilian world.

Who gets the stuffed chicken at a steakhouse?