I Would Beto.

Y’all, I have, like, a teenage girl crush on Beto O’Rourke. We hugged once (well, side hug, like a Duggar) and I swear I got butterflies. He’s very, very handsome.

She’s trash. Horrible.

honestly tracking my menstrual cycle has been AMAZING for staying one step ahead of this shit. I had never really kept track b/c my BC kept my periods mostly at bay (though I was definitely still cycling) but since coming off BC I’ve been tracking religiously and it’s so nice to have a heads up like “oh! tomorrow I am…

Awww! Congrats to you! I am kind of coming round to these two crazy kids. It sure looked like they had 'the chemistry' a couple of years ago, so they have already outlasted the vast majority of relationships ever, in a way, by still being into each other now :) 

When I’m ready to break up with my boyfriend, I step back and evaluate and ask myself “when was my last period?” This all sounds very rational in writing. The reality is more like me stomping out of his house, sobbing on the couch, plotting his demise, and sending passive aggressive text messages followed by “I love…

Dwight Yoakam started following me on Twitter.

Actual photo of this child’s future:

“DADDDDYYYYYY DIDNT GIVE ATTENTIOONNNNNNN”

The last question is the most important one.

Conspiracy Theory Time: Jennifer Garner is Sydney Bristow. 

And now that I’ve fallen down the SNL rabbit hole on Youtube, here are more recent favorites:

Amber Ruffin is a star

Her body language is screaming, “He’s not Sean Penn!”

It’s a cornucopia of try-hard “hippie” “bohemian” scarf/“tribal”necklace-wearers who probably all have more money than I’ll ever make in my life who love to play the pauper artist.

If the ceremony didn’t begin with:

One of the most stunning 4.5 minutes of film EVER. Judy forever!

Kristen hits this one out of the park. “But guise, guise, he had some really nice cars!” has been written over all the more significant and creepier aspects.

All of my references are 5+ years old, but I honestly think about this quote all the time.