“She was strong and believable, and near as I can tell, her only real sin was looking only five times as pretty and slightly less heavy than the average mortal woman, instead of being skinny and commercially gorgeous.”

Well that’s fucking terrible.

Isn’t this the lady who made out with the lady from Silence of the Lambs but wasn’t into it?

Precisely.

She was the Blonde (ETA: The movie star, not Shoshanna) in Inglourious Basterds. Also Pacey Witter’s longtime girlfriend.

What the FUCK?! Question: Is this kind of thing going to die off when these fuckheads croak, or are we raising generations of children who are scared to say the word “vagina.”

It gets a better sheen!

Same.

My bf is unable to wrap his brain around the concept of a top sheet, but thankfully has become resigned to it. What am I, a matchstick girl? I need that sheet!

What are chemistry?!

I wanna be thrown into the woods on a body farm. Let the vultures have me!

My favorite everyday bourbon is Bulleit, my favorite special occasion bourbon is Blanton’s or Basil Hayden, and my favorite old-fashion makin Bourbon is Evan. Please and thank you!

Did you ever have that one relationship where you look back and go, “Man, I can’t even believe any of that happened?”

My fave.

Thank you!!

Let’s just start using litter boxes when we’re on the rag.

You guys...I can’t...

Damn. I remember telling on a girl for saying “shut up” in the first grade, and she got her apple moved down on the apple tree. But that’s as far as that shit went! Murder?!

Respect.